We start off this week being reminded that Nick/Starr are win machines, having come in first for 4 legs. They’re first off this week, and their next destination is Almaty, Kazakhstan – where they must search a chicken factory for their next clue. I’m just waiting for someone to make a Borat reference, c’mon, you know its going to happen. I’m not waiting long, because as they head off, Dallas says to his mom “The only thing I know about Kazakhstan is Borat” (I’ll be honest, that’s pretty much the only thing I know too)

There’s more flirting between Dallas/Starr while their teammates do the work. I have to say that I think they’d be a cute couple – the new Eric/Danielle on the next All-Stars, anyone? In the taxi to the airport, Dallas says that if he wins the million, at least he’ll be able to pay for dinner. You’d be able to pay for a lot of dinners, boy. The last place Frat Boys make the 2^nd Borat comment, which was expected.

Nick/Starr and Toni/Dallas get on the first flight, with Ken/Tina making it on too. Terrance/Sarah get shut out and forced to take a later flight, with the Frats getting shut out of that one and forced to take a 3^rd. The chicken factory doesn’t open until 7:30, so its camping time. Terrance/Sarah catch up, and although they get a craptastical driver, the Frat Boys catch up as well.

Nick grabs the next clue from Dan, and it’s a Roadblock. One team member must go in the factory and find a golden egg among the chickens. There’s also the 2^nd Fast-Forward – where a team must eat a local delicacy, which ends up is made of mostly pig butt fat. Terrance/Sarah and Nick/Starr run off for the Fast-Forward, and the Frats wisely stay.

Andrew, Toni, and Tina go do the Roadblock. Toni’s walking around clucking and talking to the chickens, but she finds the egg first so it must’ve paid off. Now they must take a crane truck to the Koktobe Arch, where they’ll follow a path to a Mongol warrior. Andrew gets the egg 2^nd, with Tina close in 3^rd.

The teams arrive at the Fast-Forward, and Terrance is freaking out because the meal is meat. You see, Wuss Boy is a vegetarian. I’m surprised this hasn’t happened sooner, there being a vegetarian at one of the meat-eating challenges. I’m hoping this means they don’t do it at all. But no, even though he hasn’t eaten meat in 15 years and is gagging up a storm, Terrance is trying to do it. My dad and I would ace this challenge, we eat goat and oxtail and spicy Indian food all the time. Pig butt, that’s nothing!

Toni/Dallas arrive at the Mongols first, and a hawk brings them their clue. Detour! Play Like Mad involves learning a tune on two traditional instruments, then going in a park to try to earn $1.50 in tips. Act Like Fools involves dressing up in a cow costume, walking to a milk stand and drinking milk, then heading to a butcher to get their clue. Toni/Dallas chose the cow. Speaking of meat, Terrance gives up at the Fast-Forward and they leave, and he pukes before getting in their taxi.

Ken/Tina choose to be fools, and the Frats are pissed that they’ve got another bad driver. Nick/Starr finish their meal, and are headed to the Pit Stop at Old Square. At the chicken factory, Sarah attempts to move the chickens and talk to them to get the egg. Are you Doctor Dolittle? Dan’s pissed about their driver, but they finally get help from an old lady. Meanwhile, Nick/Starr arrive at the Pit Stop first.

Toni/Dallas arrive at the costume place, and Dallas makes his mom be the butt of the cow. I’d make my dad the butt too. They make it fun by mooing and dancing as they walk along. Tina, obviously, chooses to be the head. At Koktobe Arch, Dan bitches to Andrew about how he’s fat and moves slower. Way to be a good teammate.

Dallas sees the milk stand first, but passes it by because he doesn’t think its marked. Ken/Tina get there and drink the milk, but Tina doesn’t read the clue at the bottom of the cup, so they leave. Toni/Dallas return, read the clue, and head to the right place. Ken tells Tina to go back and they find the clue, but then Ken says they have to return the costume. *headdesks* I thought we wouldn’t be having this problem anymore since the Divorcees are gone, but noooooo.

The Frats choose Fools, and Dan dictates that he’ll be the front. They’re retards, however, and leave their shoes at the costume department. Toni/Dallas dance their way to the butcher, get the clue, then actually read it and head to the Pit Stop on foot with the cow head. They pass the costumeless Ken/Tina and tell them they need their costume, but Ken/Tina go ahead and are denied the clue. Fail. Terrance/Sarah, fittingly, choose Fools, as Toni/Dallas arrive at the Pit Stop 2^nd. See teams, learn from them – read the damn clue, and you do well!

Frat Cow gets no help with directions to the milk stand, causing Dan to fume more. Eventually, they find this guy who wants to be paid 1000 whatever-the-currency-is. As they struggle, Ken/Tina arrive in 3^rd. The Frats eventually get to the stand, with Terrance/Sarah soon after. The Frats get the clue at the butcher, but don’t read and they take a cab to the Pit Stop. Phil tells them they must return to the bazaar and walk back. I hate them, but I want Terrance/Sarah to catch up so the Frats feel more like fools.

Dan bitches to Andrew again the whole way back. And… they’re still safe in 4^th. Terrance/Sarah are made of fail and are sent home. I’m slightly surprised, because I suspected that this would be a non-elim, because both my dad’s teams were doing bad. They’re a horrible team, but I so see the Frats making it to the Final 3. They’re not going to win at all, but they have this stupid luck where they always manage to squeak by.

Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year Journalism student at SUNY Purchase.