Episode 8

Opposites Attract

This week’s Work of Art: Next Great Artist was the second to last challenge before the finale. That’s right, the finale’s eve eve. I’d like to communicate some sense of surprise at how quickly time has past, but I just can’t. It has been a slow clumsy drag over some very knotty terrain. But in these waning days of WoA, the question of whether or not there will be a season two makes the final 3 episodes all the more precious.

Even viewed through this appreciative frame, episode 8 demonstrated yet again why WoA:NGA might be one & done. Prefaced with China Chow cheese “Art has a rich history of exposing the dualities in life”; the challenge was to “Create a piece of art with opposing themes.” A vague art-speak-y start… not too bad- then the artists were paired off and assigned their themes. Yuck. The complexities of dualism and opposition were just some intellectual padding for an “Order & Chaos”, “Male & Female”, and “Heaven & Hell” cliché battle royale.

The teams were- Nicole (Order) & Abdi (Chaos), Miles (Male) & Jaclyn (Female), and Mark (Heaven) & Pereguine (Hell). The team aspect was puzzling with so few contestants remaining. To keep the competition lively, each person was responsible for there own word: i.e. Miles (Male), Jaclyn (Female). The overall piece’s success was still reliant on a compatibility between the two works, but blame could be, (and was) easily parsed and designated.

All three teams participated in crit, and while the art work was still abysmal, the all-inclusive extended-format crit showed a lot of potential for what a televised art critique could be: something WoA:NGA has been all too shy in portraying.

Guest judging this week was contemporary dynamo Ryan McGuiness. McGuiness is perhaps the most “relevant” artist to appear on the show to date. China Chow introduced him as an “art world sensation”, and upon seeing R.McG, Miles began gushing. It was exciting to see such a “hot” artist. It made the show feel like a destination instead of a rest stop. Ryan unfortunately acted slimey enough to answer the question “Why would HE do that show?” “Oh that’s it. He seems to be a D-bag.”

Miles and Jaclyn, Male & Female, made the most syncopated (and masochistic) piece of art and won the challenge. Miles made something elegant and sparse, and convinced (didn’t take much) Jaclyn to paint a portrait of herself masturbating. I know Jaclyn has a rockin’ bod. We all know and love this, it’s fine, really. I just cannot believe how foolproof the Tit Offensive has been. Tits are to Work of Art what bacon is to Top Chef. Might taste a little greasy, but they’re eatin’ it up. The judges viewed Miles’ genteel construction as feminine and Jaclyn’s bluntness as masculine, even though their declared intentions were the exact opposite. This incongruity was mentioned in discussing the “feminine power” claimed to have been flexed in Jaclyn’s jerkoff painting. Jaclyn quickly applied feminist keywords in a scattershot of “empowering through our bodies”. Weak shit, and the panel didn’t blink twice. I like to think that Jeanne Greenberg Rohatyn wouldn’t have accepted such drivel, but alas, she was on The Continent doing more important art stuff. Instead we had Ryan McGuiness ask Jaclyn Santos if she masturbates standing up. Classy, Ryan.

Order & Chaos was a disaster, a calamitously un-chaotic disaster. Nicole interpreted order through a clunky and graceless wooden machine. Her relating order as function, rather than visual, thoroughly baffled Abdi. Abdi’s touch and ability is sound, but he seems to have no idea what to do with these skills, especially under pressure, especially when trying to conceptualize. Abdi decided to do a painting based on “Plato’s Cave”, an allegory told to him by Nicole. Having no idea what to make, he went in this direction because he thought it would give his piece a conceptual framework to pair with Nicole’s. What he painted was a conventional biomorphic abstract painting that was anything but chaotic. Abdi painted it in his usual carnivalesque palette, which happens to be very similar to McGuiness’ own hallmark colorfulness. The whole panel looked at McGuiness, giving him the first swing at tearing down this vivid imposter. Ryan knocked it well enough but left the death stroke to Papa Bear (Jerry Saltz). “Unoriginal, uninspired, and amateurish” said Saltz, adding “I’m beginning not to trust your vision itself.”

Mark and Pereguine, Heaven & Hell, were an odd but congenial pair. They worked well together- Mark full of accommodation for Pereguine’s direction. Mark’s idea of heaven involves a topless woman (see: Jaclyn’s success), and Pereguine’s approach to hell involved a topless man. Mark suggested that Pereguine pose for him; she turned the proposition back on Mark and they both ended up using topless Mark as their subject. Working on two versions of the same photograph, Pereguine graffito’d the image demonically while Mark deified himself through photoshop. Illustrating Heaven and Hell in the hackneyed iconography of angels and demons was boring, bordering on lazy. Pereguine’s overworked craftiness showed the judges a modicum of effort which kept her safe from elimination. After weeks of tepid art marking, Mark was asked to leave.

HIGHLIGHTS

A star-studded crowd came down to view this week’s “exhibition”- actresses Kyra Sedgewick & Samantha Mathis, designer Cynthia Rowley, and artist Terrence Koh.

Cracked China! The abrasively chill China Chow apparently had a soft spot for Mark. China was clearly choked up, and through a waivering voice she mournfully executed her hosting duties.

Jargon Montage! Bravo edits together some superfluous footage each week to form a 30 second content-nugget to cram in between commercials. This week’s was a rapid-fire compendium of Art Speak! Brilliant!

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“Copycat Caffrey" -- Pictured: (l-r) Gloria Votsis as Alex Hunter, Matt Bomer as Neal Caffrey -- Photo by: Photo by: Eric Liebowitz/USA Network

“Copycat Caffrey” besides being the catchiest title yet for an episode of White Collar, is also the tightest plot of the season so far. It has a solid mystery and A/B stories that dovetail quite nicely. It’s the sort of episode you might use to introduce someone to the series. The episode provides a lot of exposition about the backstory that smoothly works into the plot of the week.

We don’t get much quality time with the box itself in the who-killed-Kate-and-what-the-heck-is-up-with-that-Russian-music-box© story arc until the end of the episode, but the story is integrated quite cleverly with the mystery of the week. A four million dollar piece of pop art goes missing Caffrey style, but he’s got an air tight FBI/anklet alibi. The investigation leads instead to a wily college criminology professor (Aidan Quinn) and his brightest students. (Well, he says they’re his brightest students, but I’m thinking not so much.)

Neal goes undercover as himself to infiltrate the crime ring and he brings in his former fence/sort-of-maybe-one-time-lover/girl with the music box cherub, Alex Hunter (Gloria Votsis) to help him with the sting. She reluctantly agrees because he promises to help with her little problem. Somebody is out to get her and the theory is it’s the same folks who blew up Kate. His plan is to set up Russell (Michael Boatman), a Detroit petty crook selling krugerrands who she’s figured out is setting her up, to be robbed by the college crowd and arrested by the FBI and framed as a snitch. Sure it’s a complex plan, but that’s how Neal rolls.

Guest star Aidan Quinn is a bona fide strikingly handsome movie actor. I’m impressed they got him for White Collar. It says a lot about the show and their casting directors that they can attract that kind of talent.

The performance of the regular cast was all top notch as well, but I was particularly pleased that Agent Jones (Sharif Atkins) got a bigger part to play in this one. He even gets to go briefly undercover; granted not as a hooker, but he acquitted himself well (“Jones deserves an Oscar.”) and he got a nice slo-mo shot.

My one quibble? I’m not really sold on Alex being a hard-bitten fence/con-artist/pickpocket. I’m just not. She doesn’t seem to have that edge to her. I know the show-runners would like Neal’s criminal friends to be less threatening than real life criminals, but since she was introduced I’ve thought she should have a little more underlying menace or passion or humor or something. Now she’s off to Venice with a lovely Matisse consolation prize. Problem solved.

My favorite part? Tim DeKay’s delivery in this episode was pitch perfect, but the best part was Mozzie (Willie Garson) guiding him through the “Peacemaker” dialogue.

I also really enjoyed the episode wrap-up in which Peter and Neal each hold a piece of the music box puzzle. It looks like all they have to do to solve it is trust each other and team up.

Favorite quote? “It helps when you’re friends with criminals.” — Peter Burke

The episode was dedicated “In memory of John Bolz”. According to Jeff Eastin on twitter he was a grip on the show who recently died. He’s got an eBay charity auction up with a few autographed pictures of Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay to benefit John’s children.

Next Week on White Collar: “By the Book”

If the first clip from Bachelor Pad is any indication, this show is going to make The Bachelorette look like an episode of Little House on the Prairie!

Entertainment Tonight has the glimpse, which includes a game of Twister that leads to plenty of compromising positions and bathing suits that need adjusting. This show is going to be so trashtastic!

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Coming off a bye week, Friday Night Lights returned with mixed results.

As far as East Dillon has come under Coach Taylor’s guidance, it looks like things are falling apart with the Panthers-Lions showdown closing in. It’s all anyone in town wants to talk about, and as much as Eric tries to keep the team focused: losing Luke is a huge blow. It remains to be seen whether they’ll lose Vince as well.

Then we have Tami’s precarious situation regarding Becky’s abortion. Even though she followed protocol, all it takes is one crazy parent: in this case, Luke’s mother. There’s a very good chance Tami will lose her job over this. We all know Dillon isn’t exactly an open-minded town.

Julie receives a call from Matt in Chicago. Her response? Too little, and way too late. While I understand Julie being upset, I thought she was a bit too harsh. She could have picked up the phone, too. The Taylor’s are certainly having a rough go of it lately.

My favorite scene of the episode: Jess visiting Vince’s mother at the rehab clinic. Speaking of Vince, he sees the ugliest side of his new job. And he probably hasn’t even hit rock bottom yet.

Worst scene of the episode: Becky’s mother kicking Tim out after finding him with her daughter. Haven’t we been through this before?

“Injury List” was too all over the place for me. Not one of Friday Night Lights best efforts, and with only two left hours left in Season 4 – that’s disappointing.

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And in reality TV, no one builds suspense quite like The Amazing Race.

See, in other shows you’re voted off an island, a mansion or a boardroom, but on The Amazing Race you get flown halfway across the world. There you can curse at drivers when they end up not knowing where the hell it is you want to go, and have to do missions that often involve great physical strength or something kind of scary. Then, to top it all off, having done all of that in the span of less than a day – you end up going home.

Another thing that sets apart Reality TV, and The Amazing Race within it, is type casting. Type casting is a very odd thing – whenever we see it in regular TV shows or movies, we complain. But I’m here to tell you that type casting is what MAKES Reality TV. It doesn’t really matter if someone is gay, lesbian, married 20 years, newly dating, reconnecting after years apart or whatever. You can have these same “types” of people year in and year out, but the game would still be different, and so would the result.

Gay brothers, Cowboy brothers, dating lesbians (who ended up being two of the bitterest competitors ever), two beauty queens (I’m sorry, but Brent isn’t a model – he’s a beauty queen, just male), a couple of overweight cops and others made this a fun season to watch.

The first leg started in L.A and headed towards Chile, and as usual, it seems some teams have difficulty even getting on the first flight out and in some cases, even getting the proper money (since when is Brazil the same is Chile?).The first mission was cable walking, which at the risk of being racist, seems like a white man’s sport. From there the teams had to paint some houses, which once again, proved somewhat difficult, unless you’re Brent and Caite. In which case, you can’t even go down the hill in the instructed way.

Dana & Adrian were the first eliminated which wasn’t a big shock, as they were never near the front, nor did they seem competitive, so good riddance.

Leg 2 was still in Chile and included some hilarious attempts by our resident geniuses Brent & Caite to find the proper bus terminal, and one bold move by Jet & Cord that moved them to the front. Jody & Shannon were kicked in the head by a cow, and then got kicked out of the race.

Leg 3 started off very poorly for the models, as they had to get to a hospital, which put them hours behind the pack.
One of the missions on the leg was to lasso some hay, with a bull’s head attached to it, which, to everyone’s surprise (not) the cowboys won (this was seriously one of the most obvious cases of a mission being tailor made for a team).
And while some teams couldn’t read coordinates others couldn’t tell who the head bandit was. Luckily for them, Monique & Shawne couldn’t do anything right, and were cut loose.

Leg 4 Included a twin bungee jump which demonstrated that angry lesbians and friendly gay guys can get along just fine, and some sauerkraut which demonstrated that Mike & Louie have a bottomless stomach. Jordan & Jeff were last in, due to the world’s worst cabbie, but were spared.

Leg 5 Brought Joe & Hiedi back down to earth, as they were U-turned having to complete an extra task, which they could not do in time. At least Joe’s knee got to heal up.

Leg 6, in France had Steve & Allie in trouble when Steve couldn’t avoid wrecking the car, but to their good fortune, Jordan and Jeff couldn’t stop fighting and getting lost. At least now, we no longer had to watch, as they were gone.

Leg 7 Was funny, possibly the funniest leg of the race, for two reasons – firstly due to the number of ways teams found to mispronounce “Seychelles”, and secondly because it turns out that nearly all teams can’t spot one missing coconut from their wagon. Jet & Cord weren’t laughing as they came in last, proving once again that you should always grab EVERYTHING you own off a boat, but they lived to fight on.

Leg 8 had teams carrying and scurrying all across Malaysia, where Jet & Cord proved to be one of the best teams ever, going worst to first. Steve &a Allie weren’t so lucky, losing their clothes a leg earlier and now losing their shot at the cool million.

Leg 9 was the downfall of the lesbians, in more ways than one, they were so happy to announce they were about to use the U-turn on the cowboys. But when Brent & Caite used it on them they couldn’t take it and were evicted just before the final four.

Noodle making proved very difficult in leg 10. Jordan nearly cracked, but the gay guys got their due with the fashion challenge. The wind blew Mike & Louie’s puzzle, but yet again no team was sent home.

Leg 11 saw teams running around Shanghai, where Mike & Louie couldn’t make up the lost time, and fell out of the race.

You all know who won the last leg, don’t you? I mean, you watched just like me.

The Amazing Race wrapped up another great season, with yet another just around the corner. Teams will keep running, get lost, carry, rappel, jump, eat and fly all over the globe, and we’ll get to watch and laugh as they do, or secretly wish it was us doing those things.

And Phil? He’ll still have the best poker face on TV.

This week’s funniest line will be from the past season of The Amazing Race where Jet asked Cord “how do you say fast in Malaysian?” to which Cord replied “I don’t know, how about FAST?”

Next week I will review Grey’s Anatomy‘s little sister Private Practice.
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For the Camera Challenge, last year’s winner Melissa D’Arabian told the contestants they had to make a savory dish with breakfast cereal, specifically Kellogg’s cereals (really, product placement much?). Aarti reclaimed her place as front-runner since the judges loved her informative presentation, and her Quinoa All-Bran Pilaf. Serena’s awkward singing, Tom’s unusually bad presentation (yet delicious Corn Flake encrusted Pork Cutlet), and Aria’s awful Crispix pancake put them in the bottom three.  

Most of the contestants’ presentations and dishes for the Star Challenge were even worse. Contestants had to cook and present a dish, representative of an ethnic neighborhood of LA, to a Secret Supper Club of forty LA chefs, “foodies” and the judging panel.  Not one contestant gave a good presentation. Aarti’s was all right, but because everyone else’s was so terrible, and the foodies loved her dish, she won yet another challenge. Brad also did well, since his lamb was perfectly cooked.

Since we’re getting to the end, there aren’t really enough contestants to break into three categories. I’m going to rank them from first to last.

1^st Place

Aarti Sequeira, the obvious winner. She has been through the whole competition. The judges love her, and crowds love her always-warm and upbeat personality. This week specifically, she was the clear winner for both challenges. At this point, it’s hard to imagine anyone else taking her down…

2^nd Place

…besides Herb Mesa. He’s had his ups and downs, but hers enthusiastic personality seems to be back for good. His flan was overcooked this week, but as long as he makes his food consistently great from now on, he stands a real chance of winning.

3^rd Place

Brad Sorenson. For a long time, he was the bland, forgettable contestant. The past couple a weeks, he’s been trying to show his personality more, and it’s making him a real contender. And his lamb was one of the best dishes at the Supper Club. If he keeps up his food quality, and embraces his personal history (like that story about touring the country he told during judging), he should have no trouble making third place.

4^th Place

Aria Kagan. The judges have been less and less impressed with her during the last few weeks. They consider her personality one-dimensional and verging on boring, which is true if a little harsh. That, paired with her lacking culinary skills, like her horrible Camera Challenge dish, and her unbalanced carrot soup, are really hurting her.

And of course, her “accidental” interruption of Aarti during the Star Challenge this week, after saying how she wants Aarti to fail, isn’t going to help her. Really, how could she not tell that Aarti was still talking? The judges didn’t like when Dzintra interrupted Aria, so I’m sure they aren’t going to forget this either. It might even be one of the factors that sends her home next week, or the week after.

5^th Place

Tom Pizzica. It’s really a shame that he did so badly this week, because I really like this guy. I’ve said before that his is the only show I would actually watch. But his presentation for the Camera Challenge and his dish for the Star Challenge were just disasters. If he doesn’t recoup next week, he could easily go home before Aria.

Who Went Home

Serena Palumbo, the logical contestant to go home this week. Honestly, I really liked her and her many stories at the start of the competition. But she hasn’t been able to make her presentations seem natural, and her dishes haven’t shown any creativity or pushed her limits. Her “rehearsed” presentations, and her inability to impress the judges with her lacking culinary knowledge sent her home.

Without question the strongest episode of the season, “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues” gets off to a quick start as Bill fights back, killing a guard before jumping on Russell and get his butt kicked. From there, the episode flies forward, breaking away from anything holding it back. True Blood works when things happen, and boy did they happen.

After being bound and stationary for the past couple episodes, Tara takes matters into her own hands, pummeling Franklin’s head to a pulp and then rescues Sookie. After a evading a couple werewolves stoned on V, she meets a bare naked Alcide. Even though Franklin is a simplistic character in that he has a pure obsession with Tara, I’d love to see him still alive and his reaction to her. Will he still want her to be a vampire?

The relationship between Bill and Lorena is one of the more interesting elements on the show. Clearly, there is a bond between them, starting with the blood they share. However, there is a deeper connection in how Lorena treats Bill and how she shaped him to become who he is. When Russell orders her to kill Bill, she first objects, but caves since he is the king. Tied down for most of the episode, Bill pushes against her, saying that her maker made her cold and in turn, she made Bill that way. Enraged, Lorena slices Bill to shreds in a most gruesome fashion before letting werewolves feast on him. At the end of the episode, Sookie finds Bill on the ground nearly dead. But wait, that’s not the end of it! Lorena is there to sink her fangs into Sookie’s supple neck.

On the other side, there’s Eric, biding his time to strike at Russell. He complies with Russell and plays along, even helping to corner the Queen of Louisiana. While Bill and Sookie may die, his eyes are trained on Russell and only him. What he has coveted for centuries–from his time as a human–is finally right in front of him and he won’t let this opportunity pass.

Events are Bon Temps were slightly more interesting than before and took up less time, so I was pleased for the most part. Sam’s wacky family–pushed by his father–is into dog fighting, not the Michael Vick kind, owning the dogs, but fighting themselves. WTF! I guess a human mind allows for smarter fighting versus normal dogs.

Jason as a clueless fool, bumbling around the place, is pretty damn funny; as a wannabe cop, pulling over the high school quarterback, he’s despicable to the point where I want stop watching. And the Crystal storyline has mystery, but we know almost nothing, except something is holding her back, possibly because she’s a creature of some kind

Lafayette and Jesus get friendly, but a couple of drug dealers show up to trash Lafayette’s car. They are beaten off, but not before Jesus learns that Lafayette is a V dealer as well. Promptly, he goes home. What happens next? Do Lafayette’s idols actually need offerings or are they just symbolic bad omens?

Sadly, Jessica still doesn’t have anything good to do other than glamour a cranky lady and drink her blood before sending her packing. It’s a real shame she rarely gets to do anything and by the way things are progressing, she won’t be doing much for the rest of the season.

At the halfway point of the season, everything is finally picking up. Hopefully, this trend will continue into the second half and deliver on all the fragmented storylines in a satisfying conclusion.

The TV Obsessed reviews over 40 shows on his blog The TV Obsessed

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No Fun.

Seriously, what a pitiful outcome of attendants for The Bachelorette‘s much-awaited (well, sort of) “Men Tell All” episode on Monday night. The three most controversial and hated guys didn’t even show? Fail, ABC. Fail. Sure, we had Krazy Kasey. But he’s fun to mock, not hate. And yeah, I can’t stand Weatherboy. But he didn’t subject Ali to anything other than bad meteorology puns and awkward moments.

Sure, the episode had some funny moments. But for a series that doesn’t require a whole lot of brain power to follow, there was a hell of a lot of recap.

First we watched a taped piece of Chris Harrison sitting down with Ali to recap the “journey” thus far. This actually had some pretty funny unseen footage, as well as some witty comments from Ali. Of Krazy Kasey and his ugly ink she said “I feel bad for him. I hope he doesn’t regret the tattoo.” I actually kind of hoped he did regret the tattoo, because at least it would have shown he was capable of normal human reactions. Instead he was still overly enthused about his decision.

I also liked the clip of Frank’s dad making the world’s most nonsensical toast during Ali’s visit. Apparently it was a joke (actually, a pretty good one) but for a second there I thought he was competing for the title of Miss Teen USA.

I also loved how the unseen footage they showed us during the episode included Roberto almost taking Ali’s eye out with a champagne cork, a bunch of funny animal clips, and Chris N. Yes, Chris N. was actually part of the unseen footage. And he didn’t even just get the invisible edit. Dude was, like, never around. The guys actually started calling him “The Phantom”. It was hilarious, in a creepy I-never-want-to-meet-you kind of way.

Without Craig M., “The Wrestler” (was Mickey Rourke in the running?) or Frank there to kick around, the guys were forced to prey on the weak in order to create some drama. They picked on Weatherboy for acting like a prissy tattletale and telling Ali all about how Craig M. was “dangerous”. Nameless Faceless Guy I Can’t Remember summed it up best by telling him “Dude, you bitched out”. They also picked on Kasey a lot, saying things like “I love him but he’s crazy as all hell” and saying they respected him because he was “Looney Tune”, but at least he’d stayed that way throughout the show. Only in the world of reality television would it be a bigger insult to be called disingenuous than it would be to be called clinically insane.

Mostly, the guys just sat around for a couple hours and bashed on Justin. Yeah, they knocked around the words “selfish” and “Frank” in the same sentences a few times, but mostly they found different ways of saying “Justin is a jackass and I hate him”. In particular, Craig R. seemed to get carried away. I thought he was hilarious on the show and really rooted for him, but it seemed that the audience reaction after every comment he made gave him some sort of ego-feeding adrenaline rush that caused him to repeat the same thoughts in a louder and more aggressive manner.

Jessie came on to explain how she came to know about Justin’s girlfriend, but that appearance also degenerated into a Justin-bashing session – he WALKED the five minutes between one girlfriend’s house and the other’s because he DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A CAR, YOU GUYS! Um, so not the problem.

Toward the end of the episode Ali came out to talk with the guys, but she had very little to offer besides a very Vienna-esque hairdo and an ugly sequined dress. All the guys are great, they just weren’t right for her, blah blah blah. Oh, and Kasey sang AGAIN. And yeah, it was still awkward.

We also got treated to a few more unseen clips and, frankly, some of those clips were better than the normal crap they air every week. The guys stuck Craig R.’s hand in a bucket of water while he was sleeping to try and get him to wet his bed? For reals? Did they do that before or after they played “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board”? Did they also freeze his bra?

As if the ads for Bachelor Pad shown during every commercial break weren’t enough, we also got to see a preview for that gem during the episode. I didn’t think it was possible for the Bachelor(ette) franchise to get classier, but they have. Seriously, how amazing does that show look? It’s like they put every guilty pleasure reality show in a blender, added an extra dose of skank, and came up with Bachelor Pad. Disgusting. I can’t wait.

What did you think of “The Men Tell All”? Were you disappointed that the villains didn’t show? Are you going to watch Bachelor Pad? And how do you think they convinced Tenley to do such a non-Disney-like show?
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It’s in how they word it. The headline says “Bachelorette Ali: ‘I’m Confident I Picked the Right Guy’.” But when you read the story, her quote is “I’m just confident in the decisions I’ve made.” So all they’re doing is using the headline to lure you in. Remember, US Weekly are the ones reporting Ali is engaged, not Ali herself.

The article also says this “The reality star admitted that she’s anxious to step out with her husband-to-be once the finale airs.” But then Ali’s actually quote is ‘I’m sort of in a limbo phase in my life right now…I’m really looking forward to everything sort of wrapping up!’” Where does it say she’s anxious to step out with her husband-to-be? She says she’s looking forward to “everything sort of wrapping up”, not, “I cannot wait to show my husband to everyone.” These are also the same people who reported Ali and Roberto knew each other before the show started, and their only proof was because when she was 18, Roberto played baseball one town over from where she lived, and a “source” said there was a blonde who always used to cheer Roberto on that looked like Ali.

Credit: RealitySteve.com
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Here is what did happen, though:

- Jessica and Kimberly did not show up. They were supposed to show up and yell about Justin some more, but the producers changed their mind last minute and decided not to have the girls on.

- Justin did not show up as he’s stated he wouldn’t. He felt betrayed by the show, and he didn’t want to help them in any way, so he didn’t show up. So neither of the final three (Frank, Chris, Roberto) were there, nor was Justin, Jessica, or Kimberly.

- Jessie Sulidis was there but was just brought up on stage briefly to talk about what she knew about Justin. Considering she didn’t even know the guy before Jessica called her, I have no idea what Jessie could’ve said about the guy that’s first hand.

- Kasey and Kirk were the only two called up to the hot seat. Kasey sang another song for Ali, everyone laughed and Ali thought it was funny. The weatherman was picked on again for his “dangerous” comment about Craig, and Craig called some guys out on the show. Seriously, a whole lot of nothing.

- There was a red carpet afterparty that many former contestants were invited to. A lot of “Bachelor Pad” stuff, cameras rolled, a lot of drinking, and probably a lot of hooking up.

- No news to report with Ali. She did appear at the “Men Tell All”, fielded a few questions, but then was whisked off stage. He wasn’t at the afterparty or anywhere backstage with the guys. Ali was not asked anything regards to the finale while she was on stage. No “Are you happy?”, or “What’s your status?”, or “Are you engaged?” Nothing. They didn’t even show any footage from the finale either.

Credit: RealitySteve.com
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First of all, I loved seeing Burt Reynolds on the small screen, especially on my favorite show. Normally, when Burt appears on TV, it’s on airings of “Smokey and the Bandit,” or the crappy remake of his classic ”The Longest Yard.” Also guest appearing on last nights episode as Jesse’s former boss Marv, was Richard Kind, who most people know as Paul Lassiter on the now defunct sitcom “Spin City.” I thoroughly enjoyed seeing both of these actors in the same episode of Burn Notice, and their performances did not disappoint me. One thing that I found interesting, was that Burt’s character was named Paul Anderson. 13 years ago, Burt Reynolds played a character name Jack Horner in the film Boogie Nights, which was directed by Paul T. Anderson. I found it to be quite amusing when I heard his name.

It seems that in the build up to the summer season finale of Burn Notice, creator Matt Nix and his writing staff are starting to drive a wedge between Michael and Fiona. It became very apparent last night when Fi slapped Michael and went off on him about the lying and the way he has changed since meeting Vaughn at the beginning of the season. Speaking of Vaughn. Where the hell has he been? Like I stated after we first met his character…I don’t trust him. He is the one responsible for getting Jesse fired (even though Michael was the one who pulled the theoretical trigger). I’m still betting that he is the one that Jesse was getting close to during his investigation. I may be wrong. I may not be. Only Matt Nix knows where this story is going and what methods and events will be used to get the audience to that point. I’m really hoping that the Jesse being burned storyline will reach its climax before or during the summer season finale. I’m betting on it being during the finale and not before, but hey, we won’t know until we get there.

That’s it for me this week everybody. We’ll pick this up again next week as we continue on our journey with Michael, Fi, Sam, Maddie, and Jesse. Until then everyone…Cheers.

Flashback:1990. Shawn catches Gus tap dancing in his back yard. Shawn doesn’t approve but Gus refuses to stop doing something he loves.

I’m very proud of Gus for still sticking with tap dancing. Shawn might think its uncool, but he sure proved him wrong during the end performance.  Gus has some killer moves! Enough about Gus, how awesome was Lassie? He may not have Gus’ skills but he was decent. Therapy might be paying off for him after all. Tap dancing seems to be relaxing him and with Gus’ help he was getting pretty decent. Seeing him perform with the kiddie group at the end was adorable too.

This episode also gave us a mix up in our detective teams. Lasitter asks Gus to help him investigate after his pharmaceutical skills prove beneficial and Gus accepts to show Shawn he can solve a case without him. Betrayed by their partners, Shawn and Juliet team up to solve the case before them. Lets see how they did…

Lassie/Gus: They actually started out ok. Gus got the respect he wanted from Lassiter, such as being introduced by his real name. Lassiter also enjoyed having a partner who didn’t just shout out opinions. Lassie did not seem to get annoyed by anything Gus did during the case but Gus could not deal the way Lassiter handled the case. Even though the facts were off, Lassiter arrested the guy anyway. He also felt starved when all he had to eat was sunflower seeds.

Shawn/Jules: I hope this is not a sign that they do not belong together, but this teaming was just a disaster. Juliet did not approve of Shawn’s impulsiveness or share his case eating habits. Shawn was not enthusiastic about Juliet’s organized investigation plans, not surprising since he never follows protocol.

Although I was not surprised things did not work out for them it was interesting to see. They might have their differences but these two teams have been working together long enough for it to be difficult to adjust to a new partner. Plus, Gus is one of the only people in the world who can deal with Shawn’s quirks. Sorry Jules, you’re just not among them.

On to the case. Psych has a pretty predictable pattern. They go after the wrong person first, then something happens to the wrongfully accused person, and then they finally catch the real person. It’s not true for every episode, but you can see it in most of them. What makes the cases unique is the storyline to which the pattern is used, such as the type of crime. I do wish Psych would do a case not involving murder more often, they have not done many. So like the majority of their cases this one involved murder. While I get bored of murder all the time, this one was kinda interesting. I had never heard of dry drowning before so having someone murdered that way caught my attention. It also kind of scares me about going under anesthesia.

Coming up: The guys get hired on a case where a lawyer claims his assistant was abducted by aliens. I’m expecting some X-file references on that one. Plus, I’m a fan of 24 and the guest star is Freddie Prinze Jr. so I can’t wait to see this.
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“Need to Know” – Pictured: (l-r) Matt Bomer as Neal Caffrey, Tim Dekay as Peter Burke – Photo by: Will Hart/USA Network

White Collar continues its second season with “Need to Know”. It’s a very solid episode with some breezy character interplay that kicks it up a notch from last season. As much as I’ve enjoyed the developing relationship of Peter (Tim DeKay) and Neal (Matt Bomer), the decision to play up the supporting characters Mozzie (Willie Garson) and Diana (Marsha Thomason), and further mesh the F.B.I. world with the con-man world gives the show a much richer feel.

There’s still an awful lot of exposition required to kick off an episode of White Collar (another characteristic it shares with network sister show Burn Notice) but so far it seems to be going pretty smoothly this season.

They’ve only devoted a few scenes in this episode to the who-killed-Kate-and-what-the-heck-is-up-with-that-Russian-music-box© season-long arc. The scenes frame the episode and introduce the new mystery man. He’s the guy who was supposed to show up for an appointment with Agent Fowler. Fowler, of course, can’t make it, but Peter and Diana are staking out the meeting site. They think the guy might know something about Kate’s murder, but they only catch a glimpse of him before he slips away. All they get out of the encounter if a Picasso-esque and unrecognizable composite of the man’s face from the area’s security cameras.

The story of the week is devoted to bringing down a corrupt politician. This involves a bad cop/good consultant ploy, a Mozzie style scavenger hunt, a high class “escort service” and the Timmy Nolan Memorial Park. Diana gets a lot of tender loving character development in this one, including an intriguing back story and the obligatory opportunity to impersonate a prostitute that every female TV detective since Pepper Anderson has enjoyed, (with the possible exception of Jessica Fletcher.) She also outdraws a pimp while sporting a pair of impossibly stylish high heels. Yes, I admit it: I was cheering her on.

David Alan Basche plays the target of the sting, smarmy State Senator Gary Jennings. USA viewers may remember him as Kenny Kagan in the series version of The Starter Wife, one of the few series in recent memory that didn’t really take off for USA. He’s made a number of TV guest appearances, but I first heard of him when he was cast as Wilbur in the pilot episode for the remake of Mister Ed a few years ago. Naturally I’ve never seen it, since it was never aired, (apparently I was the only one with any interest in seeing it) but just the fact that he was cast in that part and in this one speaks well for his acting range I suppose. He’s pretty good in this crooked politician role. So good, in fact, I’d say he’s found his niche.

I also liked Jason Jurman as the Senator’s whistle blowing assistant, Dylan. Not a big role, but he had nice screen presence and good timing.

My one quibble? I’m really enjoying the dynamic of the four leads this season including the reintroduction and emphasis on the character of Diana. However, I’m wondering why Agent Jones (Sharif Atkins) is getting such short shrift so far. His contribution in “Need to Know” is limited to a few stuck-in-the-van, shot-in-a-half-a-day exposition scenes and a very brief mention of the character’s Harvard background. On top of that, if I’m not mistaken, Sharif’s been in every episode of the series and yet he’s still listed as “guest starring”. What is up with that? He should at least get a bump up in the credits. No, I’m not his agent, but I thought he was excellent in a couple of pivotal guest appearances on Numb3rs (yes, he was on ER for a few seasons, but I never watched that show) and he’s put in his time on White Collar. Even if his character hasn’t done a whole lot yet, you’d think they’d be giving him a little more respect.

My favorite part? As interesting and well done as the Neal-Diana interlude was, the Peter-Mozzie pairing is golden: every line, every look, every last moment kept me thoroughly entertained. I’d watch a whole episode with just the two of them. In fact I hope that’s what they’re working up to.

Favorite quote? “All of your quotes are getting on my nerves. Peter Burke.” — Peter Burke

Next Week on White Collar: “Copy Caffrey”
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Repeat: ALI DOES NOT CHOOSE CHRIS LAMBTON!!

Now before you ask. We also know for sure that no one gets brought back in some sort of tricky ending.

So that leaves just two endings. Ali either picks Roberto or she picks NO ONE!

There is overwhelming evidence to suggest that Ali is a single woman today. Could Roberto and Ali got engaged and have since broken up? Possibly, but your best guess would be to assume that ALI CHOOSES NEITHER ROBERTO NOR CHRIS or anybody else for that matter.

We hope to have 100% confirmation on the ending before the finale airs on August 2. So keep checking back with Inside Pulse TV for the latest updates…

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On to the dancing!

Lauren and All Star Twitch, Hip Hop – Truth be told, I thought this was okay. Good, solid, but it wasn’t NappyTabs’ best work and you could tell Twitch was holding back. The judges, as usual, threw praise all over it.

Jose and All Star Allison, Contemporary – I thought the concept of this routine was really interesting and Allison was flawless in her movement. Jose (not great to begin with) was lost in all of the great things happening around him. He was overpowered by this choreography and by his partner. I guess it’s better to be ignored than noticeably awful. Adam Shankman Awkward Moment #573: The comment about Jose’s girlfriend knifing Allison. Dude, what possessed you to say that?

Robert and All Star Lauren, Jazz – A forgettable routine. I love it when choreographers don’t do over the top concept pieces, but the song and choreography have to be pretty special in order for it to be memorable. This wasn’t quite there, although Robert danced it wonderfully.

Kent and All Star Kathryn, Jazz – I liked this. It was a quirky serving from Sonya Tayeh, and while I wish the pairing was given something meatier to work with, it was one of the best routines from the night. I disagree with Mia, Kent’s expressions worked in this routine. It was upbeat and all about having fun and accepting yourself, this is one of the few routines where his faces added to the charm of it.

Adechike and All Star Comfort, Lyrical Hip Hop – This is an excellent example of dancers elevating mediocre work. I didn’t love the concept (overdone), the choreography (the NappyTabs usual), or the song choice (this isn’t American Idol) but Adechike put emotion into the routine. He made it powerful, great performance.

Robert and Lauren, Samba – Lauren rarely does enough emoting in her routines, and this was a prime example. The Samba is one of the hottest dances ever, and she generated zero sex appeal. In comparison to some of the past Sambas (Dancey’s, Maks and Kayla’s) it was robotic and boring. This isn’t the first time I’ve found Lauren soulless, and I’m annoyed the judges aren’t calling her out on it. Robert was at least trying.

Adechike and Jose, Paso Doble – This was an interesting experiment, and it could have been epic. Imagine if Dmitry and Pasha were dancing this routine – fire. Instead, Jose threw water all over it. I’m not saying Adechike was dancing the way a ballroom male would have been, but he was at least dynamic and intersting to watch. Another cool concept ruined by Jose’s weaknesses.

Kent and All Star Twitch, Step – This was awesome. I’m sure there are plenty who could outdo Kent in stepping, but for what he was doing (and who he was doing it with) Kent really made it work for him. I do think that if Billy had performed this routine as intended, it would have crossed the line from awesome into awful. Twitch was able to ground the routine and not let it go into joke territory. Also, this isn’t the first time stepping has been featured. Nigel had stepping in his Broadway choreography as he mentioned, and Dave Scott included stepping into Shauna & Jimmy’s Hip Hop back in Season 3.

Solos – The only solo that really stood out to me was Adechike’s. He’s fabulous in his genre, and has a unique combination of power and smoothness in his movement. Other than that, maybe Lauren’s? Robert’s? There wasn’t too much solo work to grasp on to tonight.

Bottom 3 Predictions

• Poor injured Billy
• Jose, Jose, Jose
• Lauren

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Ashley will be missed, she was the stongest girl this season. But you have to note the differences between her sendoff and the one they gave to Alex. I assume that Ashley will not be invited back because she can go on the Season 7 tour, while Alex won’t be dancing for months. Still, I can hear the cries of “unfair!” already. Alex’s teary goodbye was a big gushy mess because he is Alex. And that is the primary reason he was invited back when many injured contestants were not. Unfair, indeed.

I loved the opening routine. It’s a bit weird to have the contestants dance the group routines next to the All Stars, but it makes it much more entertaining. It was a fun Broadway routine in a season were almost none of the group routines have been standouts. Other than this, the only routine I enjoyed watching was the Top 20 Wade Robson spectacle.

The kids’ Jive was cute, but super awkward – maybe I’m spoiled by the awesome young dancers they’ve had on Dancing with the Stars, but this just didn’t hold up. The segment reeked of filler, especially Cat’s awkward attempt at banter with the poor children. She usually doesn’t mess up this badly. The Alvin Ailey dancers were spectacular. I was pretty much mesmerized during this guest performance. They have stepped up the guest performances, I’ll give the show that.

I like that they picked the “Forever” Hip Hop routine for Twitch and Comfort (to be honest I’m not sure what else they could have picked) and I think I liked it even better the second time around. But my favorite part of the night was Christina Perri’s performance accompanied by Neil and Allison. It’s sweet that a choreographer’s song choice can have such a big domino effect for an unknown singer, and anytime I see a shirtless Neil I am happy.

Jose’s solo was surprising in how good it was, but I suspect it’s because my expectations were so low. He hit the stage with more power and attack than before, so I commend him for it. He still doesn’t belong in this competition. I’m concerned about what Nigel said to Billy Bell – he seemed to criticize the wunkerkind’s solo for being repetitive and for some reason brought up Michael Jackson. Huh? I’m really worried that if Ashley hadn’t been standing there like a sacrifical lamb, the judges would actually cut Billy. Seriously, judges? This Jose lovefest is a joke, is costing you credibility, and needs to stop. The end.

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Episode 7

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

Erik was gone: a new era awoke.

Last week’s messy departure of Erik seemed to trigger interpersonal stirrings that Work of Art: NGA desperately needed. Miles’ overt condescension ran afoul of his quiet, faux-naivety. This has created the first real social pivot for the show, wherein one can choose to align with Miles due to his clear acumen or distrust and dislike him based on a perceived flakiness of integrity. Most importantly it gives the contestants dilemma. Through conflict we are exposed to deeper, more complete version of the people on the show. Conflict and competition still rile the “real” from the contrived terrarium of “reality television”. Unfortunately, up to this point Work of Art:NGA has been rather light on discord and complexity, but the post-Erik group already appear to be shaping into more interesting characters. If we’re not going to see any good art, we might as well get to see some good reality television.

The post-Erik group is also noticeably concise as last week signified the halfway mark of the season. Of the 14 contestants, seven have been eliminated and seven remain.

Episode seven was chockfull of personal nuance that lent to understanding the contestants as people, or at least as characters on a show that you might find interesting. Keeping in step with our more intimate vantage, episode seven’s challenge was the first to really ask the artists to discuss and communicate themselves as people.

The Magnificent Seven (Abdi, Nicole, Jaclyn, Mark, Peregiune, Miles, and Ryan), were brought by Simon de Pury (via subway!) to The Children’s Museum of the Arts in SoHo. There it was revealed that their challenge was to “Create a piece inspired by the experiences that made you an artist.” What a wide-open and glorious assignment. The challenges to date have all been about the other; a stimulant outside the self- books, electronics, cars, the public, the other contestants. The minor catch of this self-derived work was the limiting of available materials to that of the children’s craft supplies at the museum. With the subject being the self, it would figure that the participants should all be experts. But when you ask densely realistic-minded artists (Mark, Abdi, Ryan) to convey an emotion or experience, they tend to illustrate it instead.

This week’s guest judge was painter Will Cotton. Cotton was chosen because his own work deals with candy and sweets that are often associated with youthful desire and impulse. Given the task, Cotton was a clever choice and suitable judge who was YET AGAIN given a neglectful introduction! Cotton was described as a New York City based painter while a slideshow of three of his images briefly clicked through. If this show is to help inform the general television audience on the art world, it’d be good to talk up the guests a bit more. Why not introduce him as “Will Cotton, recipient of the 2004 Princess Grace Foundation Award, Cotton has exhibited extensively throughout the United States and Europe including the San Francisco Museum of Art and the Seattle Art Museum. Represented by Mary Boone Gallery, Cotton’s is work is owned by museums as well as many prominent private collections.” While you’re at it, show a few more examples of his work, it wouldn’t kill ya. For all the powerful allusions of the aristocratic art world, the show startlingly lacks gravitas (save, Simon). It must start from the top down, and making “your” celebrities sound like they are big deals is step one.

Nicole and Pereguine came out of crit unscathed, and for the first time we had an all female winner’s circle. The first four episodes were won by the boys, but Nicole v Pereguine insures a third straight victory for the ladies. Nicole sandwiched all sorts of memory inducing objects between Styrofoam trays and hung them (somewhat like horizontal blinds) from a wall mounted apparatus. The resulting sculpture was vaguely familiar, but remained elusive. Pereguine really stepped in shit. Constructing a tabletop menagerie of candy and cigarettes in children-supplies-Technicolor, the piece looked like something Will Cotton might have made himself. Not only was it a well-made and thought provoking, it happened to be right in Will’s wheelhouse. Pereguine won, but as Simon pointed out during his studio visit, the winner will no longer get immunity. Winning now has no consequence, no prize or anything. It doesn’t make any sense.

Ryan, Jaclyn, and Abdi were singled out for their lack of achievement, although Mark deserved to be there as much as anyone. Asked to embody an early memory of artistic inclination, Mark made a children’s book about himself. It was hokey, mawkish craft. How things like this escape the judges is beyond me. Jaclyn was severely hamstrung in that she was born without a heart. Her icy-cold analytical tree of youth made Miles “want to put on a coat”. Abdi created a series of particularly boring drawings that actually stemmed from a rather interesting conceptual base. Abdi tried to render all the things classmates used to ask him to create. Many artists start out this way. Showing a particular faculty for replication, young artist are often asked to create upon demand for others. But given the show’s constraints on time for conceptualization and execution, another good idea was pressure cooked into a disfigured gesture. Instead showing a budding artist through the eyes of his community, it came across as commercial-grade illustration. Both Abdi and Jaclyn’s work was still better than Mark’s, unfortunately for Ryan, his piece was not. To overcome his prodigious skills (I suppose), Ryan, a righty, decided to draw left-handed. The result looked like work made by a child, rather than something inspired by a formative experience, and Ryan was asked to leave the show.

This was the best challenge thus far. Asking artists to create something that relates to themselves (you reflecting upon yourself), emotions and remembrances surface. The filters of memory often snag at peculiar angles. These facets can correlate neatly or stand in direct contradiction; either way there effect is the same. They elucidate the varied influences and gradation of humanity. Through this exercise we learned that Pereguine grew up on an art commune. That Nicole has a twin sister. That Mark comes from a background nearly bereft of traditional art resources and trappings. That beneath Jaclyn’s icy exterior there lay an un-friended little girl, eating her lunch alone in the bathroom. And that Ryan was raised a Jehovah’s Witness: a setting so stern that he now considers himself disowned by his mother. While knowing that fact about Ryan doesn’t make his piece any better or more relatable, I might be allowed to insinuate a relation between the rigidity of his upbringing to the narrowness of his artistic practice. And that’s good tv.

HIGHLIGHTS

Ryan, on Miles, “I didn’t really notice it until very recently, but Miles is kinda like this big douchebag.”

China Chow’s crit dress- think something between a mummy wrapped in yellow gold and the Guggenheim painted canary.

J Diddy, on Abdi’s drawings, “A dictionary is more interesting than that piece.”

Jeanne Greenberg Rohatyn’s excuse for not being on this week’s show, delivered by China Chow, “Jeanne is away this week curating a show in Europe.”

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The Dallas Morning News reported that Johnson, who formerly coached the Cowboys and the Dolphins before heading to FOX as an analyst, will be a contestant on the long-running Survivor, as the show is being taped in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua.

Johnson, 67, reportedly tried out for the show, said to be one of his favorites, two years ago when it was staged in Gabon, but he supposedly failed the physical. Johnson, who would be one of the oldest contestants ever on the show, would supposedly be finished in time to appear on Fox NFL Sunday in the fall.

Credit: Dallas Morning News
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Flashback: 1990. In tonight’s flashback, young Shawn and Gus are cornered by bullies. Shawn insists that Gus knows Karate even though Gus has only had two lessons so far. We don’t get to see the outcome of the fight but we can assume it did not end well.

The story overall started out predictable because of the title. From the title Romeo and Juliet and Juliet, it was pretty easy to assume that they were not dealing with a kidnapping and that they were really in love. Thankfully they threw in the twist with the brother to make it not just a Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet. The side story with Juliet fit in smoothly by having her assist on the case while helping her recover from the trauma from last season’s finale.

This episode themed mainly around stereotyping. They keep visiting their former employee Ken for information on their case solely because he is Chinese. He knows almost nothing that will help them on the case but they assume he would just because he is Asian. Like Shawn, most people would call any type of Asian martial arts Karate.

Lassiter was surprisingly underused in this episode. There did not seem to be any police investigation into the kidnapping, they were more focused on bringing Juliet back on to the team. Our first look at Henry being in charge of consultants does not look promising. The character had become likable and has taken a turn towards annoying. If he continues trying to work against them I would rather he went back to being retired. Gus was amazing pretending to be a lawyer, hilariously threatening to sue the guy for being a racist to get Shawn into the class. Shawn seemed a little more silly than usual in this episode, but since it was restricted to him thinking that he was a martial arts expert after one class it remained funny.

I enjoyed this episode a lot and hope that its a sign the rest of the season will be full of funny and original episodes.

Coming up: In the next episode we will see the groups swapping partners. Gus will be working with Lassiter while Shawn works with Jules. Should be interesting to see how this turns out. Plus Lassie tap dancing, that you won’t want to miss!
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That means Rachel had to replace her with someone and she chose Matt. Matt elected himself to be a pawn because they really want to get Monet out of the house.

Rachel and Brendan are the main targets for the majority of the housemates. But Britney’s bitchy attitude has been getting on the nerves of some of the houseguests. Brendon, Kathy, and Kristin were all talking about how rude she is to people, last night. She could very well be going home next week if she doesn’t win HOH or POV.

Another “showmance” to look out for, besides Brendon and Rachel, is Kristin and Hayden. They are trying to keep their “relationship” on the down low, though.

Credit: Big Brother 24 Hour Live Feeds

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