In this one, I determine how crazy is too crazy for reality television by employing my banana meter.

The episode preview is:

Reality TV thrives on outrageous characters and it seems like the nuttier the better. But, when you lock extreme characters up in the America’s Next Top Model, the Bachelor, Real World or Big Brother house, how do you guarantee they’re crazy enough to provide juicy entertainment but won’t kill each other. What is the process to determine casting those stranded on Survivor make great reality TV, but don’t snap? And where is the sanity middle ground when you are filtering through reality show participants? What is normal and where does crazy begin and end? Murtz tracks down reality stars, casting directors and even a reality therapist to find the perfect formula for crazy but not too crazy. And if being on TV means you have to be a little bit crazy – does Murtz have a little case of the nuts?

My guest stars include:

- Jonny Fairplay (Survivor Pearl Islands)
- Trishelle Cannatella (Real World Vegas)
-Ayiiia Elizarraras (Real World Cancun
- Lisa D’Amato (America’s Next Top Model Cycle 5)
- Robyn Kass (Casting Agent For Big Brother)
- Matt Antrim (Casting Agent For Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader)

It airs on TVTropolis in Canada at 7 PM.

Here’s an EXCLUSIVE clip!

This would supposedly include hits by current teenagers such as Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers, as well as teen idols of the past, from Hanson, to the boy band brigade of Backstreet Boys, N’ Sync and New Kids on the Block.

It would appear Katie Stevens is at a major advantage.

Wednesday, March 24 – 8pm ET/PT
“Banana Etiquette”
When the castaways discover that two people will be sent packing in a rare double elimination, everyone scrambles to save their own skin. Then, one castaway surprises everyone and risks it all at tribal council.

The episode is airing a day early because of CBS’ NCAA March Madness Tournament on Thursday.

Hey everyone, I’m Murtz Jaffer, and welcome to the all new Inside Pulse TV Daily. Every day I’ll check in with a look at what’s hot in the world of IPTV, including previews, news, spoilers and much more.

What to read on IPTV Today

Another big slate of show recaps, check these out:

What to watch tonight?
What should be on your nighttime TV radar – for good OR bad reasons.

FlashForward (ABC) 8 p.m.
While Demetri teams up with CIA agent Vogel to track down Lloyd; Mark must meet with a therapist to get back his badge; Meanwhile, Janis investigates Simon.

The Office (NBC) 9 p.m.
When the sales staff lets Sabre’s new “sales is king” policy get to their heads, Michael hides their new, prized leads.

30 Rock (NBC) 9:30 p.m.
Liz Lemon keeps running into Wesley (guest star Michael Sheen), forcing them to question their decision, while Jack Donaghy tries to establish himself with the new cable company.

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The show opens black and white as we see the Top 12 guys get their golden tickets. One of them will get to see their highlights again at the end of the episode. This night will be one giant fluff job with lots of highlights before Ryan breaks a dream with a few words normally reserved for his back waxer. The Irish lighting director turns all the spotlights green for St. Patrick’s Day. On the judges table, Ellen has decided to go without the scarf. She needs to keep her neck covered to fake her youth. Simon is pissed that Ryan got in his face last night. He was made uncomfortable. Simon asks if Ryan wants his job as if any threadbare t-shirt dork couldn’t lie about the talent of his lame picks? Why not let Ryan takeover from Capt. Teletubby? Not like Simon is doing that much in his chair except countdown to X Factor. Simon keeps telling Ryan to step back. He really must have felt threatened to bring this up on camera. Or maybe can’t handle Ryan’s breath? Simon reminds us that the judges can save someone from elimination until the final five are named. With the way they’ve been pushing certain barely talented competitors, the save will be used early.

David Cook is brought on for “Jumping Jack Flash.” He won two years ago and promptly was squeezed into a Johnny Bravo jacket by various producers. He’s rather forgettable with this cover. It’s almost something he’d do as a time killer during a concert. At least it’s not as lame as watching Phish cover Genesis at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony.

Ryan has the dozen kids on the couch. He gives us the Ford commercial done to a Killers’ song. They’re playing paintball while driving cars. That’s not safe. Although the cover of the Killers is extremely safe. Now they turn into a complete infomerical mode with the kids designing their own Ford Fiestas. Enough selling us cars. They’ve got the three stools of doom on the other side of the set. Paige Davis is the first to stand up. Her gender bending version of “Honky Tonk Women” bought her a trip to the stools. That’s what happens when he blows your mind. Lee DeWyze gets grilled about working on being better. But he’s safe so it doesn’t matter. Siobhan Magnus stands up to be described as Snooki’s poof. Simon doesn’t know Snooki. Way to prove you’re not contemporary. Ellen thinks she’s unique and can break out like Adam Lambert. Does that mean she’ll be working bisexually on the stage next week? We’ll find out since she’s safe. Aaron Kelly gets compared to Ellen’s hairdo. The Disney American Idol Experience winner is safe. Andrew Garcia and Tim Urban stand up together. Someone is going to the stools. Kara says after watching the show on TV, they both deserve the bottom slot. Amazingly enough, it’s Tim Urban and not the equally bad Andrew Garcia.

We go to the break with Paige Davis and Tim Urban on the stools. How did America “love” Andrew Garcia into at least 9th place? They bring out a Suzi Quatro-esque singer – guitarist called Orianthi to perform “According to You.” She was the guitarist for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” shows. She’s managed by 19, the folks who sign all the kiddies on American Idol. This is corporate synergy. She’s only performing tonight because Michael Jackson died. Otherwise she’s be living in London for a year for all Jacko’s O2 arena shows. At least she had a better fall back gig than most rockers that become unemployed because their pop idol goes pop.

Didi Benami is the first up from the sofa. She’s flustered while talking with Ryan. Her mom gets told it is good new tonight. Her daughter has another week to torture us. Crystal Bowersox is next. She’s got Lily’s good luck feather over her ear. Ryan hints there will be Barry Manilow night. Crystal might have to stick around for that nightmare. She’s safe. Katie Stevens is up. Did she really connect with “Wild Horses?” Isn’t that about uncut heroin that Keith RIchards was digging? How did Katie connect? Kara brings up the pitch issues. Simon wants her to do more country stuff. Randy wants her to be pop. Ellen suggests mariachi. Katie is safe after clowntime ceases. Michael Lynche fills up the widescreen as he stands up. He gets to avoid the empty stool. Casey James and Lacey Brown go shoulder to shoulder. Ryan chats with Casey and sends Lacey to the middle of the stage. The lower three are Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Paige Davis. Ryan asks Ellen about using the save on one of them. She can’t give an answer. Simon says one of them is worth saving.


Ryan ends the frustration for one of the basement trio. Tim Urban is sent back to the couch. The Vote for the Worst Crowd breaths a sense of relief.

Kei$a tramps it up on stage with “Blah Blah Blah.” That’s an Iggy Pop album title. When will they have Iggy Pop night? The pop tart is semi-Gaga in her outfit than the trailer trash that worked in the “Tik Tok” video. The male dancers wear TV monitors on their heads. It’s like Mummenschanz with cable. These two lame rappers interrupt the song. They look like lost valets. Kei$a returns with an Indian headdress. She must be auditioning for the new Village People. It’s a delightful mess. When will she do a cameo on Breaking Bad?


Ryan dims the light as Didi and Pagie clutch each other with fear. Ryan reminds Randy that this was supposed to be a girl’s year and the bottom two are ladies. Randy’s not surprised. Lacey Brown is cut. Paige Miles returns to the sofa. Lacey sings “The Story” for that second chance. Are they really going to burn it this fast? She’s a little pitchy as the judges huddle behind the table and whisper away. How are they supposed to really listen to this last minute begging for a dream to continue? Naturally the crowd goes nuts. They don’t want an execution. Simon says they unanimously decided to not save Lacey. She’s tossed into the ash heap of Idol history. There will be no summer tour for her in major arenas. She’s excited for the future as they run a montage of her dream getting inflated and popped.
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Cr. Mike Yarish/FOX
Hugh Laurie & Robert Sean Leonard

“Black Hole” is the 16th episode of the season and it seems very much like a continuation of last week’s episode “Private Lives.” The stage turns slightly in this one putting the spotlight on Taub with his guilty conscience and trust issues. House is still pulling the strings: Wilson’s and Taub’s this time. To some extent that’s always been his MO, but his fascination with Taub’s private life (and Wilson’s also to some extent) seems more thoughtful now, as if he were searching for an answer not only to their motivations and characters, but to his own. Themes of betrayal and forgiveness echo in the patient’s story and Taub’s, then in Wilson’s brief scene with Cuddy. Excellent performances by the regular cast all around.

I also enjoyed seeing Dennis Boutsikaris, who plays Nick’s dad Artie, the patient’s boyfriend’s father/patient’s illicit parasite infested one night stand. He is a favorite character actor of mine who specializes in playing slick lawyers and evil doctors. I had an “a-ha” moment as soon as I saw his face. It wasn’t difficult to put the clues together. Clue number one: he has a lot of frequent flier miles. Clue number two: the father of a patient’s boyfriend wouldn’t be at the hospital unless he was significantly involved, especially not if he’s Dennis Boutsikaris.

So it turns out, at least for me, that the medical case is not much of a mystery. That doesn’t detract from the episode. I think the case is primarily meant to parallel Taub’s quest for his wife’s trust and forgiveness. And all of it echoes House plea in last week’s episode: “Trust me.”

“A little more vodka and you might find out some more things you didn’t know about me.”

The episode opening at the planetarium looked pretty cool. (Although I have to admit that the silence of space screwed with my head a little and I futzed around with the volume a while before I figured it out.) I was pleasantly reminded of the “Planetarium” episode of South Park. (In fact I can’t hear the word planetarium without thinking of it. If you’ve seen it, I think you know what I mean.) Abby (Cali Fredrichs) and Nick (Mick Eversman), two senior honor students are surreptitiously drinking vodka in the back row and discussing their future. He’s Stanford/West Coast bound. She’s worried that he’ll be too far away. After the instructor (Sunil Malhutra) questions her about drinking in the theater, Nick observes that Abby is a good liar. (He doesn’t know how well yet.) A moment later, Nick notices that Abby is not breathing and she’s literally foaming from the mouth. He calls for help.

The scene has some very nice touches. Off of the teacher’s dialogue “95 billion light years across” Abby comes in with “You’ll be so far away.” Off of “We can only observe 4% of the Universe. The rest of it is unaccounted for.” Nick says that Abby’s a good liar. He only knows one side of her. The rest is unaccounted for. I also think the sound effect, which they usually use for those cool shots where they zoom inside a patient, is interestingly used to zoom out at the end of the scene to a shot of the solar system and then into the main credits.

“Buy some furniture or admit you’re empty inside.”

At the still sparsely furnished condo, Wilson complains about House eating on the couch. (Judging from last week’s episode, he’s done much worse than that on the couch.) House tells him to get a table. Wilson doesn’t seem too keen on furniture shopping. House thinks he’s afraid to do it, and even though Wilson dismisses the idea, he insists that Wilson should buy furniture.

At the office, before House or Taub have arrived, the rest of the team discusses Abby’s case. When House gets there he’s somewhat more interested in Taub’s whereabouts than he is in the patient’s well being. He assumes, rightly, that Taub is at home fighting with his wife, even though Taub has called in with a flat tire excuse. One thing we can almost always be sure of in the first differential, nobody has the right answer and somebody’s going to suggest drugs/alcohol and an MRI, which they do while Taub is in his bedroom arguing with his wife (Jennifer Crystal Foley) about yoga couple’s classes. She thinks they should spend more time together. The subtext, which Thirteen later spells out for him, is that Rachel thinks given enough unsupervised time he might cheat on her again.

Eventually Taub makes it into the hospital and before he’s had a chance to familiarize himself with the new case, he’s confronted by the patient’s boyfriend, Nick who is accompanied by his father, asking about her condition. He says they’re running tests. Nick asks him to tell Abby he loves her. He seems touched by the request and he delivers the message, after apologizing to Chase for being late. She also seems touched and happy when she gets the message even though she’s in a big scary MRI machine. It’s really a nice moment and establishes a bond between Taub and the patient, who he’ll later learn shares his guilt over having been unfaithful.

Taub tries to run his marital problems past Chase who doesn’t think he’s qualified to give advice. (Anyone else notice Chase is growing a stubbly beard very much like House’s? Is he fulfilling Cameron’s gloom prophecy and turning into House?) During the MRI they notice a dark spot in her heart. This leads to another differential where they speculate that the spot might be fungus. Foreman says that blood tests rule out fungus and parasites (that’s because it’s parasites but not parasites.) House is still more concerned with Taub’s marital problems.

I have a theory on why House finds Taub’s rather prosaic domestic situation so fascinating. He wants to know if Taub can change enough to successfully give up adultery. If so, then there’s a chance that he too can change enough to stay off the Vicodin permanently and find a little happiness. His philosophy has always been that people don’t change. He wants that not to be true.

Thirteen suggests that they do a Transeosopha… watchamacallit to get a better idea of what they’re dealing with, because it wouldn’t be right to go through a whole episode without shoving something down the patient’s throat. Thirteen has no problem giving Taub marital advice (“It’s not about the yoga”) while they do the echo. Predictably, the test goes horribly wrong and Abby’s heart valve ruptures. They rush her into surgery and shock her a few times before Thirteen’s heart massage does the trick and brings the patient back.

“Not my fault. I was busy judging Taub.”

In the next differential, Thirteen suggests that Abby may be having an allergic reaction to her boyfriend’s semen. They run with that. They ask Nick for a sample when he admits that under very particular circumstances he didn’t use a condom. His father is there and seemingly concerned about Nick and his love life. They run a scratch test. Abby is not allergic to Nick’s semen, but she does begin to writhe in pain and pee blood. That can only mean one thing. That’s right: kidney failure.

House shoots down a few more theories before he agrees to do a full body scan even though, “We hate full body scans.” Taub and Foreman do the scan. Taub seeks advice from Foreman on how to make his wife trust him. Foreman? Really? How desperate is he? Although, this exchange does lead into a nice segue: “You don’t think I want my wife too be happy?”

“Sure, as long as it makes you happy.”

House enters the condo and finds it completely furnished. Wilson thinks it’s “not bad” and he wants to know what House thinks. “Not bad at all,” he says, clearly meaning he thinks it’s not good.

Abby’s scan is going badly. She hallucinates falling into a black hole.

“We know nothing. Brain knows all.”

They have yet another differential back in the office, during which both House and Taub do a little multi tasking. In an effort to spend more time with his wife, Taub is texting her while he’s working. House is watching him while the rest of the team bats around theories. From Rachel’s perspective at a grocery store the texts continue and become more risqué. Back in the office we see House has taken over the phone and the texts in an effort to “help” Taub. “You’re texting does not prove you’re faithful. It just proves that you know she thinks you’re unfaithful. You can’t force trust.”

Now that he’s delivered that bit of wisdom it’s down to business. “What did she hallucinate?”

He thinks the content of her hallucination may give them clues to her illness. He wants to try the Cognitive Pattern Recognition Program. Everyone looks at him likes he’s nuts. Foreman calls it science fiction (a “mind reading machine”) and suggests they do an MRA with contrast instead. (You’d think a neurologist would be just a tad more excited about playing with this kind of cutting edge neurological equipment. Go figure.) House agrees, but thinks it will fail at which point he gets to do his “Crazy, but possible” test.

Wilson comes back from a run and discovers all the furniture is gone. He later confronts House in the cafeteria. House admits he returned it because he figured out Wilson had just rented it. “No clue what it even met,” he tells him. Wilson wants to use a decorator, but House insists he buy at least one thing.

Nick is by Abby’s bedside when she regains consciousness. They kiss and he proposes to her, but she begins to hallucinate. She sees her younger self admonishing her about a secret she should tell Nick. “Your secret is killing you,” says the younger Abby. She has a seizure.

“Also I’m going to need to check your spare.”

So now that the MRA has failed, House gets to do his magic trick, the CPR Program. He has Foreman, who’s the only team member clearly not on board with the idea, ask for consent from the patient and her mother.

Taub uses this time to take his wife to his car in the parking lot for a quickie. They kiss and he asks her to trust him. House interrupts, tapping his cane on the window, and invites Taub to the “real cool magic show”. They attach electrode-ish stuff to Abby’s head and flash a bunch images on a screen and then ask Abby to visualize a single image. She thinks of Nick playing baseball and sure enough an image comes through on the screen, effectively reading her mind.

Most of the team is very impressed. Except Foreman. “Does anything get you excited?” asks Chase. (Nope. He had a hot bisexual and he blew it. I guess it’s hard to bounce back from that.)

“Anyone ever tell you, you can be a real buzz kill?”
“Yes!”

Wilson goes furniture shopping. He’s very bad at it. Funny stuff. The whole process is very reminiscent of the bed shopping he did with Amber in season four. When asked to please himself, he’s lost. He’s just more comfortable pleasing who he’s with: in this case House.

At the hospital Abby is hooked to machine for phase two. They watch her dream. House is now in attendance. Her subconscious is dominated by images of the moon and the stars and the sky. Foreman points out that it’s not unusual that a physics student would think of those things. She also sees a male figure in her dreams who they guess is her dead dad. They’re no closer to the right answer.

Wilson goes to see Cuddy about his furniture shopping dilemma. Not too smart, since he’s furnishing the condo he bought out from under her. Lucky for him she’s willing to let bygones be bygones. “I know you bought the place I wanted. You’re a jerk. Let’s move on. Hire a decorator,” she tells him and adds that “You know what says even more about who you are than your furniture? The fact that you are letting House tell you how to buy furniture.”

Bless her heart: she said just what I was thinking.

House is studying Abby’s brain images when Foreman enters with the latest failed test results. There are signs of an allergic reaction, but no allergy. Foreman starts to give basically the right answer: “There’s this Middle Eastern parasite….” but House shoots it down, because Abby hasn’t been to the Middle East and they haven’t found any parasites. Two objections he’ll be able to get around soon.

“You’re going to have to buy your own cape.”

Alone in the X-ray room, House contemplates the case. When Taub drops in to say goodnight, House cuts straight to the chase and asks him if he’s been having an affair. Taub denies it and denies wanting to have an affair. House wonders is it “because you now really are old enough to be their…” He doesn’t finish expressing the thought before a major medical epiphany gets in the way. The father figure in the patient’s visions is her boyfriend’s dad. He confronts Nick’s father outside Abby’s hospital room and asks him if he’s traveled abroad. When he admits he’s traveled to the Mediterranean area for work, House explains that Abby is having an allergic reaction to the itty bitty shells of an Egyptian parasite that was in his semen. He says unless Nick’s dad confesses he’s had sex with Abby she’ll die. To his credit he does admit it rather than let that happen. (I’m pretty sure had he not House would have gone ahead with the treatment in any case.)

House returns to the now refurnished condo. He can tell Wilson used a decorator and accuses him of wussing out. “You can’t keep letting other people define you.” Considering what an overbearing presence House is in Wilson’s furniture shopping in particular and his life in general, that’s deeply ironic. House sees a piece of furniture covered with a sheet. There’s a nifty bit of camera work with Wilson going out of focus in the background and House sharply in focus in the foreground. House pulls the sheet away to reveal an organ (the musical kind: not a kidney or a liver.) He knows Wilson picked it out. He knows Wilson picked it out for him. “I like what this says about you, Wilson,” he says as he plays it.

He plays the beginning strains of Procol Harum’s “Whiter Shade of Pale” which we then hear over the action as Abby is being treated, Nick is talking to his dad, and Taub and Rachel look at their wedding album. Taub takes the opportunity to tell her she’s the love of his life and he proposes. She points out that they’re already married “I want to be better at it,” he tells her. Later we see Taub talking to Nick who than goes into Abby’s room.

House wants to know what Taub said to Nick. He told him that it (infidelity) didn’t mean she didn’t love him. Taub thinks she does. House asks Taub if she (Rachel) said yes. She did. “Good for you,” House tells him with very rare genuine sincerity, but when he sees Taub talking to an attractive young female doctor moments later, he still seems to doubt that Taub is faithful.

Regarding this final scene: I don’t think that we’re supposed to think that Taub is actually cheating with the young woman, just that House thinks that he might potentially do so. Despite Taub’s apparent sincerity House isn’t sure he’s overcome his baser instincts. He’s not sure it’s possible for anyone.
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Everyone dreams of getting back at their tyrannical boss; who doesn’t get tired of the micro-managing and the constant meddling?

Timmy, the lovable assistant to Russell Dunbar from “Rules of Engagement” has created a place for people to sound off about the people who have made their lives and living hell: http://TimmyStrikesBack.com

In Timmy’s latest blog post, lovable assistant Timmy details his top 5 tips for surviving a trip to Atlantic City (which is especially funny if you saw this past Monday’s show).

In my world travels, I’ve seen shanty towns of such immense poverty that Mother Teresa would break down in tears. I mean even now, when she’s dead. I’ve seen landfills so vast they resembled oceans and toxic waste facilities so wretched that no mammal dared near. Not until this past weekend, however, could I have foreseen a place so destitute, so decrepit, that it would feature all three. And then I went to Atlantic City.

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The show opened with a weird confrontation between host Ryan Seacrest and judge Simon Cowell, and while it appeared they were joking with each other, it certainly seemed veiled in some degree of reality.

“Want to get the eyeballing out of the way?” he pointedly asked Ryan Seacrest at the start of Wednesday’s show, criticizing the Idol host for his “aggressive behavior” last night. (Indeed, Ryan has been going to bat for the scorned contestants more often this season.)

“I just thought that you needed to be a bit more constructive with them,” Ryan replied.

“Do you want my job?” Simon asked. “Because it felt like an audition.”

The pair eventually settled, but not before Cowell offered the host a warning.

“We’re friends, right? Just don’t ever do it again,” Cowell said.

The bottom three was no surprise as it included Paige Miles, Tim Urban and Lacey Brown.

The 24-year-old from Amarillo, Texas, was eliminated.

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“The part that I’m sure a lot of you are talking about was my interaction with Colby when he instructed me, in no uncertain terms, to get the challenge started.

To which I replied:

Probst: “I got the message brother, and we’ll go when I’m ready.”

Don’t go reading too much into it. I was merely holding my ground as host, nothing more. I would have had the same response to anybody who attempted to tell me what to do. Because like it or not… “We WILL go… when I’M ready.” That’s what 20 seasons and the title of host gets you. The ability to go when you’re damn good and ready and not a moment before.

SIDE NOTE:
Oh, and one more bit of housekeeping from last week’s blog. I read many of your comments implying that I was hard on “America’s Favorite Survivor” Rupert because I was trying to save my buddy, Colby.
Let me be really clear about a few things:

1. The first time I had seen Colby in several years was at the start of Heroes v Villains. I have no more loyalty to Colby than anybody else.

2. If I wanted to, do you really think I could influence a vote by asking a simple and legit question? You think these players are so easily influenced?

3. If I could indeed influence the game, do you think I would risk losing a job that allows me to buy beautiful outdoor patio cushions by doing so?

Get a clue. Buy a vowel. Phone a friend. Whatever it takes, but pull your head out.

Probst also discussed why he was hard on fan favorite Rupert.

“I was hard on Rupert because his logic made no sense. He was clearly voting with an alliance and trying to convince me he was voting based on keeping the tribe strong. Every Survivor knows I ask tough questions. That’s my job. He could have answered any number of other ways and got me off his back. He didn’t. Rupert dug his own hole, all I did was offer him the shovel.”

To read the rest of Jeff’s blog, just click here

Credit: EW.com
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Jack Davenport (who plays Lloyd on the show) confirms that the program will answer many of its questions before the season is over, in a move that separates it from Lost and also allows the show to be cancelled without leaving fans to upset (if ABC does decide to pull the plug).

The mysteries that will be solved include:

- Why the blackout happened?

- Who is the man in the stadium?

- Will Demetri live?

The show will also explore Janis’ desire to have a baby and Simon’s family life.

Credit: E! Online
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This is part of the reason NBC chose to pick up the show early. They wanted to accommodate Poehler’s schedule.

An NBC rep says, “We’ll continue production of season three as soon as production of season two concludes. And we’ll be back next season with new episodes.”

Credit: E! Online
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Given the recent success of its Celebrity Apprentice franchise, NBC has announced that they are bringing back the regular version of The Apprentice, but it is with a twist.

The show plans to recruit 14 new candidates of various ages who have “been hit hard by the current economic downturn,” NBC said — like job seekers who are unemployed or recent college graduates with no prospects. Nationwide casting calls will begin soon for the reboot, which is expected to bow this fall.

“The Apprentice is a proven brand, and we believe its return is more relevant than ever since it will provide new hope for many Americans struggling in this difficult job market,” said Paul Telegdy, NBC’s head of alternative programming, in a statement. “Donald is going to be even more involved as he offers fantastic opportunities for the American worker, while the search for a quality job will resonate with contemporary viewers.” Trump released this statement: “I am very excited to return to the original premise of The Apprentice. We’ve got to do something about the economy and this is a terrific way to provide jobs as well as business lessons along the way. NBC, Mark Burnett and I hope this economic downturn can begin a turnaround, and we’ll do our best with The Apprentice to see that it starts happening. I’m proud to be putting people back to work, and to positively changing the psychology of America.”

Credit: EW.com
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There is no question that Joe & Heidi were presented as the villains this season, but despite this depiction, you had to feel for them after Joe’s knee was injured and a blind U-Turn left them in last place and eliminated from the show. I had the chance to interview the married couple and we discussed why they couldn’t figure out the Morse code, what they think about Jeff and Jordan being on another reality show, their alliances with Allie & Steve and Carol and Brandy and how their kids cried when they saw Phil tell them that they were gone. Definitely worth a listen.
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Anyways, this week is the Rolling Stones, and I’m expecting a couple of things to occur here:
- Some really bad performances due to poor song selection (obvious)
- An attempt by someone to do a Jagger strut
- “Paint it Black”, “Wild Horses” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.

Michael Lynche, “Miss You”
Lynche gave us some controlled energy here, moving around the stage in a sensible manner. He gave us a bit of a R&B vibe, and understands how to connect with the audience. I’m not sure where the “desperate” part of the performance was, but Michael continues to work hard at staying one of the front runners.

Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”
There were points where Didi seemed lost in the performance, but I’m not really familiar with the song so I can’t say if that’s true or not. I also liked the build to the big note, but I watched this after Siobhan’s performance and to be honest, it wasn’t nearly as good in that respect.

Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”
Casey is looking more and more like Chad Kroeger every week. That is not a compliment. He gave us the type of song we expect from him – blues/rock, and I think his enjoyment resonated with the crowd. I like Simon’s comment with Casey, trying to push him to do more because he expects Casey to be around for a bit. Also, I liked Ellen’s little joke there, and how she managed to work her sexual preference in there without actually saying it.

Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”
I think this was changed up a bit too much for my liking. It felt like Lacey chose this song because she knew the chorus, and I don’t know that the song really fit her weird voice. Probably a forgettable performance, so I think Lacey’s in trouble.

Andrew Garcia, “Gimmie Shelter”
Andrew is singing like a man resigned to the fact that he’s not going to win the competition. I just don’t see the fire in him anymore, and he’s going through the motions, without any true passion. This song should have had him bouncing around the stage a lot more, but he was really rooted to the main area. And yes, he was pitchy in a lot of places, but the main problem is still that mentally he’s given up. Andrew needs to go.

Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”
At this point, I’m not expecting a whole lot from Katie. And she gave me exactly what I expected from her – a somewhat dispassionate, lounge diva-esque performance that leaves a lot to be desired. Rolling Stones week did Katie no real favours in the judges wish to have her be more contemporary. And now I need to hear the Susan Boyle version just to see how much better it is.

Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”
Imagine if Bob Marley covered the Rolling Stones, and did it in a manner that you might see in Margaritaville. Got that? That’s what we got from Tim Urban. This was seriously not good, and it’s more something you’d expect Jason Castro to do. But Castro had the advantage of having us expecting him to sing things in a reggae style. Tim still has no identity, and is showing that he was, in fact (at a minimum) the 13th best male in this season’s crop of singers. He’s definitely one of the bottom three.

Siobhan Magnus, “Paint it Black”
Yeah, this was awesome. Siobhan did a really good job doing a slow build to the big notes at the end. Nothing really to say other than to watch this performance on Fox/CTV if you missed it. Strangest thing to me about this whole thing, in fact, is that Siobhan stole Twitch’s glasses.

Lee Dewyze, “Beast of Burden”
I think the criticism of Lee is spot on. He really needs to just cut loose and let the audience see that he can be that guy that everyone can relate to, and get behind. The problem, of course, is that he’s starting to run out of time to do that. Idol has tons of people that have had the potential but never fully connected with the voters.

Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Woman”
I have to give Paige props for singing with a bad throat, and singing that well, but she’s probably suffering from the same problem that Lee is having – not connecting with the audience. But in Paige’s case, she hasn’t been pushed by the judges so that is a problem for her going forward.

Aaron Kelly, “Angie”
Aaron’s mom is named Kelly Kelly. Sadly, it’s not this Kelly Kelly:

but that would be really weird, wouldn’t it?

This was typical Aaron – a good performance, solid but nothing spectacular. This may actually bode well for young Aaron since I felt that Kris Allen was much the same way throughout – never having the best performance of the night but staying remarkably consistent throughout the season.

Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
So yeah, it was Melissa Etheridge doing the Stones. Never a big deal when you have someone capable like Crystal doing the singing. I’d agree with the judges that it wasn’t Crystal’s best performance, but like Michael, Crystal has been on a different level from the other singers so a great performance from her still outstrips personal bests from the others, with ease.

Rankings:
Siobhan
Crystal
Michael
Casey
Paige
Lee
Aaron
Didi
Katie
Lacey
Andrew
Tim

Eliminated:
Andrew

That’s it for this week. Please wish Josh a happy belated birthday and don’t forget, see Murtz at Wizard World Toronto!

Hey everyone, I’m Murtz Jaffer, and welcome to the all new Inside Pulse TV Daily. Every day I’ll check in with a look at what’s hot in the world of IPTV, including previews, news, spoilers and much more.

What to read on IPTV Today
Tons of amazing TV show recaps up today, within hours of the show actually airing!

What to watch tonight?
What should be on your nighttime TV radar – for good OR bad reasons.

Scrubs (ABC) 8 p.m.
In the 9th season finale, the med students of Winston University finally find something to be thankful for when Cole identifies his true calling in surgery; Drew finds the love of his life; and Lucy finds the inspiration to become a doctor.

American Idol (FOX) 9 p.m.
One of the Top 12 go home.

The Real World: DC (MTV) 10 p.m.
The roommates say goodbye in the season finale.

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The twelve guys and gals are lined up with Ryan Seacrest walking between them. He seems to think this is what they’ve been struggling to accomplish. Top ten is what they need to achieve for serious summer cash. A bad announcer names the judges as they walk from behind the center stage set piece toward the table. Ryan walks down a staircase onto the stage. This is the big stage until they return to the Kodak for the finals. The set hopefully won’t claim any lives just dreams. The Top 12 step out. They’re all spruced up for the big show. Nobody looks like they did at Hollywood week. They’ve been given a major clothing budget. Tonight’s theme is the songs of the Rolling Stones. Ryan blathers on about how great the Stones recent tours have been. Their lives shows were best in the early ‘70s with Mick Taylor on the other guitar. Dig around to find their shows when Taylor unleashed on “Midnight Rambler” and “Brown Sugar.” The three best are a Leeds concert that aired on the BBC, a King Biscuit Flower Hour from Brussels and their concert film shot in Dallas called Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rolling Stones. Clips from the film are up at youtube.

Michael Lynche does “Miss You” with a soulful edge. He’s got an amazing arrangement. Sounds like what would be done for Aretha Franklin or Luther Vandross in the ‘80s. They got the slap bass at full tilt. I got tingles from him. Damn shame he can’t do the entire song. Randy declares he slayed it. Girls in the crowd yell that they love Ellen. She’s calls it amazing. She’s also wearing a scarf to hide her throat. Kara blathers about Mick Jaggers’ attitude until she mentions he was hot on stage. Simon thought Michael’s dancing was corny and he sang it well. Simon sums it up as desperate. Ryan gets in Simon’s face about giving real constructive criticism. There’s just a nasty vibe between the duo. There might be a knife fight later in the season. Either way, Michael took more heat from Simon than he deserved. The snippy Simon must have been scolded for conducting X Factor business on Idol time.

The undeserving Didi Benami gives us old photos of her childhood in Tennessee. Her choice of Stones is “Play with Fire.” She starts on the staircase. She does the walk on the high notes. It’s toned down so it sounds like a musical number. She flares her nostrils at the camera during the chorus. It’s not a good visual. She goes for the high note, but it flattens out fast. Randy shouts that Didi was on fire. Ellen notices she lost her way on the stage, but found herself. Kara enjoys the intensity at how she got darker. Simon agrees with what everyone has said. Simon has been a fan of hers for the last few weeks. Really?

Casey James takes us back to Cool, Texas. This town shouldn’t be confused to Boffo, Oklahoma. His choice is “All Over Now.” He’s gone electric for a honky tonk rendition. He really needs a band around him. He spends most of the song looking down. The end gets a little sloppy. The final part of the song is all about his guitar solo and not his vocals. My wife notices that Casey looks over at Kara and then smirks. What’s going on? Randy declares he’s back! Ellen thinks it was fantastic. Kara calls him a rock star. Simon disagrees. He felt it was audition performance that wasn’t pushed. Strange that nobody brought up how the guitar dominated his performance and made his vocals secondary.

Lacey Brown warbles “Ruby Tuesday” with a string section. She really sounds like an animated character. Why does everything she sings sounds like its an outtake from The Sundays? Her Texas twang slaps around a high note. My wife despises her outfit. She’s got two tops fighting. Randy was pleasantly surprised since she held it together. Ellen finds it a tiny bit sleepy. Kara rates it 50/50. Simon sizes her up as performing as an actress. He warns her of the danger of doing the same thing week after week. She doesn’t have any second act.

Andrew Garcia tackles the dark and earthy “Gimme Shelter.” After three straight lackluster performances, can he really handle such a big song? The music is mixed way down low. It’s slow. The background singers are rather sparse in the chorus. He sings most of the song while looking at the stage. He clings to the microphone like a battering ram. He gets up for the final notes, but it feel like a build. Randy can’t deal with the pitchy nature. Ellen thinks it was his best performance yet. Kara gets elements of tone from him, but doesn’t feel it. Simon blathers that Kara is wrong at wanting to feel more from the song. Simon reflects that he was better in rehearsals.


Katie Stevens wants to put Connecticut on the map with her cover of “Wild Horses.” She’s blasted with white lights while perched on the stool. While soft, this isn’t the Gram Parson’s arrangement. She sounds like a singer on a talent show. She’s not getting under the lyrics. She does an annoying pause before repeating the song’s title about a dozen time. She better start crying now to get callers go. She does this horrible pose at the end to remind us that she’s a singer. Randy admits she corrected her pitch issues. Ellen insists Katie got into the song. Kara likes the variations on the melody. Simon commends her picking it. He chose this song for Susan Boyle to emotionally deflate. The judges are in the tank for Katie tonight.

Tim Urban grew up with 9 siblings and 1 shower. Guess mom must have hosed them off before school. With so much to pick from, why does he go for “Under My Thumb?” He breaks out the acoustic guitar to make it a Jason Mraz rendition with a reggae tinge. Sounds like something you’d hear played in the Caribbean on the dock used by cruise ships. It’s rather bland throughout. At least he didn’t forget the words. Randy didn’t like it. Ellen feels like it was resort oriented with no wow factor. Kara applauds him for doing something incredibly different. Simon calls it a boring song that didn’t work. He swears that Rolling Stones fans would be turning off their TVs after that song. Really? I can’t imagine hardcore Rolling Stones fans watching this show unless it’s all the warden allows on the TV.

Siobhan Magnus comes from a crafty kinda family which is proper for “Paint It Black.” She goes dark in her corset top black dress. It’s a theatrical version like Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Stones on Broadway. Her voice is pushing it. She goes for the big loud notes again. She holds this one long enough for Adam Lambert to walk beneath it. Randy unloads the hot praise. Ellen loves her look and sound. Kara dares to mention Adam Lambert. Simon calls it the stand out performance of the night. He says there’s a lot of people who will love and others that will hate it. Ryan makes her put on the glasses to geek her out. Siobhan was fun, but the judges pushed her hard.

Lee Dewyze chains down “Beast of Burden.” He takes it quiet and acoustic with his guitar and strings. He stumbles over a few words at the start. This is almost campfire entertainment if you’re looking to fall asleep outside the tent. His mumblecore vocals don’t add too much to the song. Randy thinks it’s dope. Ellen also believes it was great. Kara rates him as growing more than anyone else. Simon likes Lee as a person, but he doesn’t shine. Simon deludes us that Lee has an amazing voice. Is it? They’re hyping hard on him.

Paige Miles has been sick so combined with her inability to perform on stage, this is a trainwreck coming down the rails. Why was she given “Honky Tonk Woman?” Her voice is rough without the whiskey. She flips the genders and it just doesn’t cut it to hear “Honky Tonk Man.” This is just awkward and squirmy. She doesn’t completely fail in the vocals. Randy likes it. Ellen feels star quality on the stage. Kara applauds her hitting the big notes. Simon asks about what happened to her voice. She had laryngitis. He rates her higher because of that. Once more they score on a pity curve. At least she won’t cry and mention Michael Jackson.

Aaron Kelly can’t understand “Angie.” Is he really old enough to have the hots for David Bowie’s ex-wife? Maybe he could change the lyrics to “Miley.” He opens seated on the steps. He goes technical with his faux country vocals without going too emotional. He won’t be stealing anyone’s wife with this performance. Randy raps about the tender moments being hot. Ellen accuses him of stealing her hair style. She calls it a stand out performance. Kara admits he came back from last week. Simon goes on about how Aaron chose the right song.

Crystal Bowersox wraps up the night with “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” She better rock out on this. Well the start is her acoustic guitar. Kinda gives me an Ani DiFranco vibe. She holds back on the vocal and leaps on the chorus. It’s nice, but doesn’t go out of control and recover at the end. It never gets ecstatic. Randy loves her and isn’t disappointed. Ellen enjoys her effortless singing. Kara agrees with Ellen. Simon observes she was beaten by Siobhan. Lily Scott is sort of on the show since Crystal has worked a feather from the eliminated contestant into her dreads.

The night was a rather ho-hum affair with the exception of Michael Lynche who might be in trouble since he got the opening slot. That never helps a contestant on the two hour show. There’s way too many contestants getting completely pimped by the judges without really putting out the goods. Here’s the breakdown:

WINNER
Michael Lynche

OK
Crystal Bowersox

JUDGES PIMPED

Siobhan Magnus, Lee Dewyze, Aaron Kelly, Casey James, Katie Stevens & Didi Benami

MEH
Paige Davis

BOTTOM THREE
Lacey Brown, Andrew Garcia & Tim Urban

Andrew Garcia should be marked for elimination. He blew his load before it mattered. But at least Paula Abdul feels grateful for having her name mentioned each week.
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This week we found Naomi trying her hardest to make her relationship with Liam work.  She even asked Ivy for help but Ivy really spent her time trying to make Naomi look bad when the trio went for a hike.  Naomi declared war and showed up at the Surf team practice with sandwiches and a bikini.  And in true teen drama fashion there was a rolling girl fight on the beach because that’s how they roll Bev Hills.

After the girl fight Naomi had enough and finally confronted Liam about their relationship problems, which led to Naomi ranting about hating boats and hiking and everything Liam likes to do.  Luckily for her Liam fell for the girl who was opinionated and knew what she wanted.  They reconciled on a massage table in the Beach Club.

Annie had some major drama with Jasper she finally had enough of his manipulating and blackmail.  It was nice to see her stand up for herself and she even considered telling the truth about her hit and run.  Jasper let her know she didn’t have to and that because he loved her he was going to let her go, hoping she’ll come back to him.  Annie even ended the episode hanging out with her girl friends for the first time since last season but Jasper was definitely stalking Annie in the distance.  I’m not sure what this creepers game plan is but I’m eager to see how it unfolds and I’m also looking forward to see what happens to Annie’s confession letter that auto-saved to her computer. You gotta love technology!

Guest star Rumer Willis was back as the adorable Gia who is totally crushing on Adrianna.  I honestly love this pairing more than anything else on the show right mostly because it feels so natural.  I totally buy Rumer as the cute quirky newsgirl Gia and the way she and Adrianna click makes the possibility of relationship actually seem possible.

We also finally caught up with West Bev teacher Ryan Matthews who has taken to the bottle to get over sociopath Jen.  Drinking led Mr. Matthews right into the arms of the crazy cool Laurel who happens to be Ivy’s mom.  Since Ivy has been added as a series regular I think we might actually get to see more of Laurel which could be cool, she’s definitely got some good stories to tell. Like whose better in bed: Mick Jagger or Keith Richards?  It also doesn’t hurt that she hooked up with the hottest teacher in a car.

Some episode twists involved Silver finally getting together with Teddy after denying her feelings for him for so long.  I hope this relationship isn’t doomed for disaster after all Teddy has not been cast as a series regular and as much as he has grown on me I can’t help but shake some bad vibes I get from the character.  I’m afraid he might know more about the hit and run than we think.  The biggest surprise though came at the very end when Dixon’s birth mom showed up at his door.  What’s she doing back and is she finally better? We’ll find out next week, see you next 90Tues10!
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Hey there once again (and sorry for the late review)! Desperate Housewives has reached its season’s final chapter, and some shockers are proof of it.

Spoiler-free zone:

The episode told us more about the mystery, but also kept some storylines going. Unlike most episodes, this episode isn’t only limited in Fairview since two of the housewives head to New York. It’s quite a fast paced episode and it prepares the arrival of a new character…An evil character!

Spoiler zone:

Angie’s storyline this week was integrated with Gaby’s, as they both head to New York to find Danny and Ana. After a few shots of the two housewives outside the lane and a few cameos of models that hate Gaby, they finally find out that Danny is with Ana and are staying with Angie’s mother. When Angie visits her they reveal to us, that a guy named Patrick Logan is hunting them down. After a while, Gaby and Angie find Ana and Danny and it seems that Angie somehow convinced her lonely mother to tell Danny to go back to Fairview. Meanwhile, Gaby tells Ana that she might have future in modelling and that she should give it a try for a few years. Back at the plane to Fairview, Gaby decides to confront Angie telling her she knows she has a secret. Angie (probably out of despair, and hating to keep things bottled up) tells Gaby that apparently a relationship she had with an ex lead to her being involved with someone getting killed. She later says that the ex was Danny’s real father. Unfortunately, the Bolens aren’t safe anymore since someone back in New York spotted them and called that Logan guy to tell him that they were going to Fairview. I wana see that Logan guy! I’ve heard that he will influence the life of every housewife and that makes me excited!

As far as Katherine is concerned, she is now dealing with the fact that she slept with a woman. After Susan spotted her kissing Robin, Katherine goes to the gay neighbours to ask for some guidance. They tell her that she probably isn’t a lesbian. A talk with Robin later on, seems to change her mind again. What I like about that storyline is that the comedy and drama are not overpowering one another.

Susan’s storyline was quite simple this week probably because the other storylines had some big stuff going on. It looks like Mike had some masculinity problems after Susan paid a loan of his. There were some funny moments and overall it was a nice background storyline to have.

The big twist in tonight’s episode was in Bree’s storyline. Apparently her new worker was promoted to vice-president along with Andrew, and Andrew wasn’t very happy about that. After Andrew got drunk and made a scene in front of Bree’s workers, Bree went over at Sam’s house to apologise. And then it happened… Bree finds a picture of a young boy with her, now dead husband, Rex. When she asked for an explanation, Sam told her that Rex was his father. It turns out Rex got a little too close with a girl before he met Bree and thus Sam was born. In the end, (with a little convincing from Orson) Bree spoke to Sam and began to understand what he was going through. I’m looking forward to see how Andrew deals with that.

Lynette’s son Preston has returned from Europe with a new girl from Russia. Lynette, being the realistic mother that she is, sees that Preston’s girl is way out of his league. When Preston decides to marry her, Lynette is not too happy, especially since she will have to give away her grandmothers ring.  She decides to prove that the girlfriend isn’t dating Preston for who he is and buys a fake copy of the ring and presents it as the real one. Turns out though, that Preston’s girl figured out Lynette’s plan and gave the ring back saying that she didn’t want it due to the sentimental value it had. Lynette though couldn’t say anything since it would expose her as a bad mother. I think that was a fun little storyline that can create some interesting friction to the Scavo family…

To sum up, the episode provided twists and turns, and few good one-liners such as Lynette saying that she has more kids, to replace the ones that hate her. The final part of season 6 has arrived and it sure looks promising.
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While I enjoyed the opening sideways “tease,” where we learned that Sawyer is actually a cop in the alternate reality (where he’s now using his classic ploy as a different type of trap), I was a bit spoiled after reading an off-hand comment made by actor Josh Holloway. But I did love the appearance of Miles as Sawyer’s partner.

Speaking of Miles, his casual reference to his father is potentially significant. Last week we did learn that the Dharma Initiative was in existence, as was the island until at least the 1970’s. So, much like Ethan, Ben and his dad, what are the circumstances that surrounded Miles and Dr. Chang leaving the island? Presuming they were on there in the first place.

Actually, I suppose that same question could apply to Charlotte as well. Was she ever on the island? And does her work relationship with Dr. Chang relate to the island in any way (“Hey, didn’t your parents used to live across the barracks from me?”)

I don’t have a whole lot to say about the Sawyer/Charlotte escapades (other than the fact that I loved that Sawyer brought a 6 pack of beer with him when he went to apologize), except that I do have to sorta confess that I was hoping he’d get set up with Juliet. I still expect that to happen, but I suppose they may be holding off on that.

One final thought: I’m curious, but how did Sawyer discover that his “Sawyer” is Anthony Cooper? In the world we’re familiar with, he only came to this realization after meeting the man himself. How’d he find it out in the sideways universe? For that matter, this was a pretty big revelation. In the Locke episode, we’ll led to believe he has a healthy relationship with his father (which includes hunting trips and wedding invitations). Is this the same man that conned Sawyer’s parents?

Oh, and the subtle Charlie reference was nice.

Over on the island, the Locke Ness Monster sent Sawyer over to Hydra Island (I kinda love that that’s now its name even within the show’s universe), where the conman met a little lady who tried to manipulate him with some of her own lies. Naïve little girl. I am interested in this little game Sawyer is playing, though. He’s basically playing both sides against each other, hoping to slip through the cracks in the midst of the chaos. What’s intriguing, though, is that this isn’t entirely the long con that many assumed it was. It doesn’t seem that Sawyer is fishing for information. He genuinely does seem obsessed with getting off of the island. And until Kate and his friends arrived, it really doesn’t appear that he was looking to bring anybody else with him. But if Survivor has taught me anything, it’s that simply telling everybody what they want to hear will eventually bite you in the ass.

Yeah, this is probably the Jack/Kate fan in me talking, but I really could have done without Sawyer longingly reminiscing about his cage sex with Kate. In addition to me not wanting this relationship to happen, I think it cheapens Sawyer’s devastation over losing Juliet. I know most people don’t want to see Sawyer acting all mopey and Emo for 18 episodes, but in terms of the show’s storyline, didn’t Juliet die, like, yesterday? A little soon to be thinking about reigniting a romance with an old flame, don’t you think?

I was fascinated by the story Locke told Kate, mostly because of the duality of it. We know full well that the real Locke had a mentally disturbed mother, so when he began pouring his heart out, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was referring to the history of his visage in order to manipulate Kate. But as he continued, you got the sense that he was actually providing us with some potentially critical information about the history between Jacob and the Man in Black. And perhaps most interestingly of all, there was something compassionate and remorseful about his tone – as if he genuinely wished circumstances were different. I’m now really buying into this theory that Jacob and the Man in Black are brothers.

And man, what a visual seeing him slap Claire after her outburst on Kate. I’m thinking that there might be something to this idea that the Locke Ness Monster can’t lie now, because of the dagger Sayid stabbed him with. There were a couple of occasions that he seemed to rub his wound as he reluctantly told the truth about a situation. And he seemed oddly even more honest than he had in the past. And there did seem to be a certain resistance, as well. And in regards to Claire, how sincere do you think that hug was?

Alright, it’s been a pretty exhausting week (how is it just Tuesday), so I’m cutting things off at this point.

Anyway, anybody else REALLY looking forward to next week’s Richard episode? This is the one episode where I’ll say that they shouldn’t pull any punches. Go balls out!

Matt Basilo has been writing for Inside Pulse since April 2005, providing his insight into popular television shows such as Lost, 24, Heroes, and Smallville. Be sure to visit his blog at [a case of the blog] and follow him on Twitter.
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In short, I really enjoyed it. Though some of the parallels between Island Ben and Sideways Ben were just a little on the nose (the Napoleon Elba scene in particular), I just bought into the whole deconstruction of the Ben Linus mythology. As events have unfolded, it’s become increasingly clear that might not been a large part of the Island’s plan. He had to scam his way into a position of power by pushing Charles out and he had to slink back to the Island aboard the Ajira flight even though It was explained that those who turned the wheel were never allowed back.

Ergo, Ben was forced to make the same choice in the sideways world that he was on the Island, choosing between Alex’s livelihood and his own advancement. This time, he made the moral decision, hearkening back to the Alternate stories of Locke, Jack and (to some extent) Kate, which provided the show’s characters with something of a happy ending that may not have been possible.

That left Island Ben fully exposed, quite literally digging his own grave. He was given a choice between taking Locke up on his offer to look after the Island once he’d gone or taking up with the Ilana/Sun/Miles/Frank camp. And for once in his life, Ben seemed totally vulnerable and totally willing to allow himself to be part of a community. Of course, there is always the lingering question of his true intentions, but I was certainly sold for the moment.

On that note, we move to “Recon”, a Sawyer-centric romp which was similar in theme to “Dr. Linus” in that it took everything we perceived to be a true about Sawyer and flipped the script a bit, presenting the character with the same internal dilemma in a different light.

Re-con, as in, to con again

We appeared headed for a carbon copy of the season 1 outing “Confidence Man”, wherein we were first introduced to Sawyer’s life as a dangerous grifter, hell-bent on revenge. Well, it was same story, different medium last night, as the alternate universe found Sawyer logging time on the other side of the law, yet still pursuing the same ghost of a man who ruined his life.

I like the sort of hard-boiled cop movie type of vibe I was getting from the Sideways story, exploring the notion that cop and criminal are actually two parts of the same psyche. As he described it himself, he arrived at a point where he had to choose one or the other. I think it’s pretty clear that that moment was shortly after his parents funeral, when he began writing the letter to the real Sawyer (Anthony Cooper, whom Sawyer was still doggedly pursuing). In the standard timeline his pen began to run out of ink before Jacob’s intervening. Are we then to assume that Jacob just didn’t show up this time around?

The Sawyer/Charlotte interlude was a little out of place and was juuuuust teetering on the edge of being filler, but I really appreciated it as sort of a microcosm of where the stakes are at this season. Here are two characters who had largely nothing to do with each other, save for some season 5 time-travelling escapades, just going at it like dogs in heat and sharing really sentimental and emotionally loaded exchanges. It was freaky and weird really tickled me in an odd way.

“It’s sad really, how little you actually know”

Those are the words of the Island’s newest inhabitant, Charles Widmore. He intercepted Sawyer on a Recon mission by the Locke-ness Monster. I think stuff like this really allows Sawyer to shine. While the Monster was busy trying to sell his escape plan to the rest of his followers, while carefully not revealing the whole truth (you noticed that he said “the black smoke killed them” while failing to mention the was, in fact, the black smoke right?), Sawyer made it clear that he’s not as gullible as the rest of them and went to work for the Monster. Then it seemed like he was working against the Monster, selling him out to Widmore. Then he seemed to be on Team Smokey once more, alerting him to the subterfuge he was running on Widmore. Just when you thought the double-agenting was all over, Sawyer revealed to a downtrodden Kate (we’ll get to her) that he was, as usual, looking out for number one. He plans to fly the coop via the Widmore sub while the two ominous entities settle their own stuff.

I was reminded of the season 2 outing “The Long Con”, in which Sawyer, thinking about a million steps ahead of both Jack and Locke, telling the Island’s local alpha males, “You were so busy worrying about each other you never even saw me coming, did you?” We appear to be closing the loop on this aspect of Sawyer’s personality. And it would be sheer negligence forget Sawyer’s thematically-loaded closing line in that episode: “I’m not a good person, Charlie. Never did a good thing in my life.” Sawyer’s moral compass has always been just a little off-kilter as he more often than not has his own interests at the forefront of his mind, but he feels confident enough in this plan to involve Kate, providing a pleasant companion to the Sideways cliffhanger.

A boy’s best friend is his mother

For being so Sawyer-heavy, I thought we got a nice little dollop of advancement in the whole Kate/Claire/Aaron problem. The most puzzling scene was the one in which the Monster confided in Kate that he once had a crazy mother, who was largely to blame for him having turned out the way he did. The Norman Bates-esque soliloquy was meant to ease Kate’s thoughts about Claire having tried to off her, and Locke seemed to imply that Claire was becoming a problem that would soon need to be dealt with. Lost has always been a show relying heavily on daddy issues and it’s somewhat intriguing to have the tables turned onto the maternal side in this anything-goes final season. It also opens the door for the notion that the crazy mother the monster is speaking of is actually Claire herself, and that the Monster is actually an unstuck in time Aaron. Too much? Alright let’s move on.

And how about that Kate? I gave her a lot of flack for what is undoubtedly the season’s lowlight “What Kate Does”. But, I thought Evangeline Lilly did a stupendous job communicating Kate’s overwhelming sense of hopelessness and defeat. Bear in mind she traveled back to the Island to reunite Claire with her baby and pretty much everything has gone completely wrong since she arrived. She wasn’t in many scenes, but I was completely sold on all of her brooding, self doubt. Well played, Evie.

Parting thoughts

• I was a big fan of Miles and Sawyer continuing their buddy cop dynamic originally formed in the Dharma era as security detail in a much more literal sense in the Sideways universe. Miles is such a great foil with almost anyone, but particularly Sawyer. I suspect there will be no Miles episode this season, which is sad, but he’s been used quite well in such limited time.
• We got another look at Claire’s disgusting skull/pelt baby thing. Again, it’s not entirely clear that we’ll be given a whole episode on Claire’s exploits this season, but that one prop says so much about how far off the deep end she’s gone since the Oceanic Six split town. That said, I’d be cool if we never saw that grotesque abomination ever again. Skin=crawling. Ugh.
• Sideways Sawyer is still an old softie for “Little House”. The particular scene he was watching, wherein Pa tells Laura that people aren’t really gone when they’re dead, would seem to give creedence to the notion that the flashsideways stories represent a sort of reincarnation for the castaways after they are done with whatever is going to happen on the Island.
• Next week appears to be Richard-centric. In a related story, this will be the longest week of my life.

So, how do you feel about Sawyer’s zig-zaggy, tenuous allegiances? What’s your read on the flashsideways storytelling technique at this point? Did anyone else think Liz Lemon was on the Island for a split second? You know the drill, sound off!

Namaste.
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